Maaaaan, part three hundred

 

Did I mention a while back--like March of 2023--that I'd joined a campaign for a short that featured a big director as an exec producer? So I'd be on the same list as an exec prod with this guy? Thought it would be cool, so why not?

(I just did a search, plus skimmed the posts from back then, so maybe I didn't mention this?)

Anyway, before I put the money in though, I was curious to see the script. So I inquired. They wanted me to sign a non-disclosure thing, so I did and they sent me the script.

Oh boy...not good. It's written by the woman directing it, and there's NO WAY the other big director has read this and said, sure, put my name on it. It's clearly a favor thing--this woman has written some making-of books about his movies, so he must like her.

So I say fuck it, I'll back it, and then I'll see if they're interested in some notes on what they could improve. I buy in, and then tell the guy who's the intermediary between me and the writer/director about my background. Been writing scripts for like 30 years, script reader for an agency for a year and a half, wrote and directed 7 feature films.

I say, why don't you see if she'd be interested in me just giving some notes about some little things. Free of charge, and not like they HAVE to take any of the suggestions. Fuck it, I just dug up the email I sent them and it's this:

"Let me ask you--you want me to just fix some of the minor issues with the
script in terms of format and consistency? As in, there are a few places
where she writes past tense instead of present, the slug lines are
inconsistent, a couple of places where characters 'think' things the
audience couldn't possibly know, etc.

I was a script reader for an LA agency for two years before I started
writing and directing my own stuff. I'd be doing it 100% to help out, no
credit or pay, just to help the project. You and (director's name) could ignore my
changes if you want, but at least you could get an idea of what fresh eyes
are seeing on it.

I'm not trying to step on anybody's toes, and you can totally tell me to
fuck off and it won't bother me. I'm a very laid back, not Hollywood type
guy, so don't be afraid to be honest. Run it by (director), but either way I'm
in."

 

Never heard back. I did the work anyway, have it somewhere on my hard drive. Anyway, months went by and didn't hear much about this project. Knew they sorta shot it, but nothing. The director on Twitter was posting all sorts of minor-celeb-attention-grab posts--like tagging directors and saying how much she loves their movies, and she wants to direct an action movie.

 

Uh...ok. Switched out from the horror pretty fast...

 

So this past week I get an email that the project is finally available to watch. I went and looked at the post, and apparently they had TONS of problems--shocking--and she needed to actually get this big director to edit the short HIMSELF to try to fix the problems.

 

Why this guy is doing that is beyond me. Especially after I watched the thing.

 

It's BAD, man. Like...as in, this entire 10 minutes short had crowdfunded $12.5K, so she probably had like 10K to shoot with. That's about the budget of my last film, and my last film is 100 minutes long, and looks WAY better than this.

 

Most of the script was set at night. Well, they changed that so only about 45 seconds of this is at night. But those 45 seconds are lit as if there's a streetlight in the middle of the woods. The brief part in the car is lit as if the car interior light is on WHILE THEY'RE DRIVING.

 

The gore is terrible, but you only get SUPER brief flashes of it, so I'm assuming it's that way because of how bad it would have looked to dwell on it.

 

Only decent things are the wwolf costume--not great, but not terrible--and some of the acting isn't bad.

 

The director's acting all sad that they didn't finish it in time to submit to some festival, but I'm thinking "Would have been a waste of an entry fee--they ain't gonna take it, even with the director's name on it".

 

Also, the credits look like they were made by a 10 year old. They slapped all the Exec Producers, including the big guy, on one title card.

 

So what I'm saying is, waste of time and money for me. Worse still, just another reminder of people who get opportunities that I never got, only to waste them due to incompetence.

 

Frustrating.

 

Why the Thing pics below? Finally showed it to my kid, since we had snow outside. I think he liked it, but not the ending. He doesn't like endings that aren't happy.

 

We also got out to see Better Man. It's good. Probably 10 minutes too long, but still, deserves more than it's gonna make this weekend. There was nobody else in the theater with us--which I liked...