Sunday, November 29, 2009

Funny shirts

I've always liked T-Shirt

But here's another site, and shirts are only $10 apiece. Two of my faves:
SALAD - Just toss it bitch.
We're friends and all. But I'd still fuck your sister.

Check 'em out.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Agatha Christie Fucked Me

Okay, I'm probably gonna stray off on tangents here. Hey, it's Thanksgiving--be thankful for tangents.

I used to read a lot. Started when I was like eight years old. Read sci fi and mystery mostly. Got hardcore into Agatha Christie when I was like ten. And I then started writing a lot of mysteries.

Problem is, Christie is like the supreme creator of mysteries. There's a reason Ten Little Indians is one of my favorite books of all time. (and any movie that promises it's Ten Little Indians Meets Whatever will have me in the seat with popcorn and soda in hand).

So if you're gonna try to be emulate a writer at age ten you probably shouldn't try Agatha Christie. I tried--and still try to some extent(mostly unconsciously)--to construct some pretty elaborate mysteries which invariably end with some sort of exposition dump at the end.

Which Christie could totally make work. I fail more often than not.

So I blame her for FOC1. I think that whole convoluted plotline regarding who was really behind the clown came from that need to put that mystery in there.

Anyway, just finished a script for Tom for a flick he wants to make. He thinks he can get 5 mil to shoot it, which would be the most expensive flick I've been involved with to date by about 5 mil(give or take $30K).

It's a straightforward action plot where I tried to Keep It Simple Stupid(the KISS rule you may have heard of). I've got a couple of small details with payoffs, but no exposition dumps. Just fighting, killing, and some characters I really enjoyed writing.

If Tom gets the money I'll probably go to Cambodia to help out on set as First Assistant Director. Should be quite the experience, and the part is pretty phenomenal for Tom(if I do say so myself).

Will let you know. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving! Off to get some turkey.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Ok, I got a "friend" on Facebook. He posted a note about the Philly game. About how McNabb was having a good game. And then, out of nowhere, this guy(who must be a friend of his) started posting this:

Transparency One
1 of 3 continuing
An exercise in Thomas Jefferson-inspired “Transparency.” make comment due to personal goal of no more fb posts till the new year. Selecting profiles on sight or whatever; just putting it out there in the practice of Transparency.

The woman I want to make my wife is living with a “boyfriend” in Lewes Delaware beach town USA with a dog. Cheryl is one of the most beautiful, kind, powerful, compassionate, unassuming and inclusive woman I have ever known.

I met her one day and that’s the only day I have ever seen her; working on the film; Invasion in Baltimore on the day we shot the action; running up the side walk through the pedestrians. You can actually see her in the scene and stills on my profile in the shots with John Lamb; Jeremy Northam and I; She’s the blond walking away from camera; can’t miss her in the shots and if you worked on the film that day, you know who she is....

Cheryl’s boyfriend is an arrogant, afraid, he has got the bulging biceps and chest of those guys who put so much value in those parts to spend those hours on them. (no affront to builders; I’ve done it; not his reason though)
I strongly believe; and I wish I didn’t, or couldn’t; this man is a predator; he’s raped every woman/girl he has ever been with; and this is his pathological; life-time way of life.

Cheryl is surely his crowning achievement. It took a lot of practice and rapes to get her. I hold it strong that Cheryl, young, beautiful, lights the world in which she exist, kind and powerful, leader of her peers; Cheryl had been successful in keeping her virtue into her late twenties; her chastity, she was a virgin; in her late twenties.

See this is the rapist strategy; they know if you rape a virgin; she’ll stay. Did you know that. No; I didn’t either. Why would you or I know this. It’s something I have arrived at after al long personal fight for Cheryl about ten months ago when I called her one morning and told her I had written and finalized a list of lifetime accomplishments; my 112 list. Number 1, 2, and 3? Fall in love. Get married. Have children. and that I would get on a train and marry her that day.

2 of 3 exercise in Theory of Transparency continued from 1 of 3
that was about ten months ago. Since then Cheryl has been unable to call or write me. Say what you want about “not interested.” I know she is cut of; incapable of reaching out to anyone. I believe it is referred to as “uncommunicative.”

Her boyfriend has called and e-mailed though; actually why the whole process has kept going. In his first phone message to me; I could hear his amazing fear and cowardice; he was practically begging me to move on down my list and he was sure some of the other women on it were just as good; i had told Cheryl that morning that I had a list and she was number one, i was calling two other women that morning and she shouldn’t feel to special; really the other two calls were just an emotional and mental safety net for me.

There is no list. Cheryl is my partner. There is not list. It’s Cheryl. It is my strongly held belief Cheryl’s “boyfriend” is the blackest or heats villain raped her and has been raping her ever since....

I also believe that Cheryl is for all intents and purposes is unable to leaving this man herself. To help you understand this, especially for the men’s benefit; (I’m guessing some of you ladies will know this full well) I pose a question for you to answer to me; Why did Elizabeth Smart roam the streets of the town she lived in garbed in this ridiculous way; dumpster diving for nine months while this man raped her at his leisure, several-to-many times a day; for nine months? Tell me why she did not just walk off and return to her father and mother and home. Tell me.

I also submit a scene from Ingmar Bergman’s film, “The Virgin Spring.” The rape scene at the end of the film. She; victimized; gets up; takes a few steps away; stops; turns back around, takes a few steps back.

I have to leave this now; thank you for your concern and time in reading. As my process is one of asking questions, and many times answering them myself; I see that Elizabeth Smart is now at Brigham Young; a political activist. I’m going to send this to her as well.

The vision in my head I just formed; Cheryl and Elizabeth will be fast friends; shine bright lights on our world and inspire us all.

I have often thought to find Cheryl’s father; who I think is a police officer; go meet him in person; assemble a group of about 20 of Cheryl’s friends and family; 20 just for show of numbers. One Tuesday afternoon I’ll knock on the door, her father and I will stand and stare at man in chair in kitchen while friends help Cheryl. fifteen minutes; we leave. With Cheryl, and the dog.

I arrived at this step in the fight months ago. I have been running at a full sprint for a year in enterprise to reach and go beyond the most uncommon levels of achievement. When I arrive at the action-taking point of contacting her father and doing a social networking reach out to find friends; when I get to this point; then think of the work I have , am, and will do along with my goals; it always seems like an either-or. I have to walk away.

I’ve told myself to suffer this loss. You suffer this loss Jeff. Suffer this loss. I’ve suffered this loss. Suffer this loss. Because I cannot live my life with situations as they are unless I do this.

Writing an essay; comment (they are one and the same for me now to a friend’s FB post requesting people to share what ignited his or her deepest passion. I wrote about July 4th 1993; a day spent with my then girlfriend which was also particularly powerful memory.

Unpacking this day through the writing process; I found it was Kelly’s (my then girlfriend’s) chastity, virtue, virginity, or rather my becoming aware of it and the vast value of it; instinctually; which was the source of my powerful emotional recall with a particular image from this day. After leaving her father’s fourth-of-July cookout; after having learned Kelly’s father never had been, or would be, a part of Kelly’s life. That I was the only man in Kelly’s life. The image; me and Kelly walking down the street to my ’73 Karman Ghia in late afternoon.

Okay, there's a whole 'nother post after this one, but I'd just like to ask: What the fuck? Seriously.

Official Disconnect

I guess it was inevitable. In every aging person's life there must be a time when you disconnect from what's popular. You outgrow it.

You know how your parents couldn't stand your music? I sometimes wondered at what point music being produced became unlistenable to them.

Because I still like a lot of what's popular as far as music goes. So that disconnect hasn't happened.

More frightening though is this New Moon thing. First, I have never read the books. I can't comment on those.

But I saw that first movie and it is the biggest piece of shit I have seen in a long time. Besides being a rip from the True Blood(the Sookie books, which came out first), it is horribly written, horribly acted, and HORRIBLY directed.

I would have assumed there would be backlash from the book fans. I can only assume now though that the books are also pieces of shit--that the movie is fairly faithful.

Now the new flick breaks box office records. The previews look really bad to me--Hey, great CGI wolves! Except I mean the opposite of great. Oh no, she has to choose between the Vamp and the Werewolf! What a great moral dilemma...

I guess this is officially where I've disconnected with what's popular with the movie crowd.

Friday, November 20, 2009

That Canon

I hear lots of good stuff about the new Canon 7D--a still camera that shoots great-looking video(Hi-Def no less).

And after watching this video, I am sold:

I believe the camera gets delivered to my door by hot Asian dancing girls. That's what I get from this video. I can't tell much about the quality of the camera from this video, but MAN can those girls dance!

More Pieces of Me Die

Nothing here for the masses. Purely historical footnote to myself.

Spent unexpected day at Annapolis Mall with Logan due to complications. Sbarro's pizza even though I wanted to hit Fuddrucker's.

He played in the kid's area. Got him a cherry slushee and all of us cinammon pretzels.

Came home. Questioning decision.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dying In My Sleep

A couple of weeks ago my wife bought a smoke detector. Didn't realize it was also a carbon monoxide detector.

Today, that bitch started CHIRPING like crazy. A computerized female voice told us that our CARBON MONOXIDE LEVELS ARE HIGH.

We haven't used our heat in a couple of days. We're not burning anything else other than my wife's candle.

So I dunno.

We reset it, left it off for a while, and later I put the batteries back in. Within 5 minutes it begins chirping again.

I don't have any symptoms of CO poisoining(headache, nausea) so I'm thinking it's just bullshit.

But if I go in my sleep, nice knowing ya!

Monday, November 16, 2009


If you haven't been watching this show, you really gotta start. The first season was hit or miss, with the monster-of-the-week stuff, but it got a mythology and a driving storyline, and now it's kicking on all cylinders.

And man is it FUNNY.

Wait'll you see the episode called "The Real Ghostbusters". If you're still on the fence, I know some of you will be excited to find out that Emily Perkins returns for her 2nd episode of the show. You know who you are.

Start now. You won't regret it.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Don't Do It

A while back I blogged about how I wanted to do a cool Sword & Sorcery movie someday. Like a Conan/Sword & The Sorceror/7th Voyage of Sinbad kind of thing.

And then today comes this:

Don't suck. Just don't do it. You look good. You look fun. You look like everything I want in my sword and sorcery picture, and I don't even mind that I LOVE the original.

Just don't suck.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Important Stuff

I don't want you to get the impression by this blog post that I don't like Reese's Peanut Butter cups. I do.

But when I eat them it just feels like there's a TAD too much peanut butter butter.

I figured out how to make it perfect, courtesy of Halloween.

Take one of those mini Hershey bars your kid gets at Halloween. Break it in half.

Take a regular sized Peanut Butter Cup and put a half of the chocolate bar on top and on bottom, like a Peanut Butter Cup sandwich with chocolate as the bread.

Now it's perfect! Try it. You'll see.

Note to self: Go back on the diet.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Wow, nice pumpkin

Saw this and thought I'd pass it on. Who has this kind of time to carve one of these?