Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year

You ever go out driving on New Year's Eve and get the feeling like maybe you're gonna get taken out by a drunk driver? I always wonder that. I made an emergency run for a Slurpee tonight, and saw two drunk drivers(one ran a red light)--and I live less than 2 miles away from the 7-11.

And a note: Did any of you see the New Year's Eve television show tonight(maybe Fox?) where the chick was asking people in the crowd what their resolutions would be? And this FUGLY chick says, "No more hooking up with ugly guys."

I was speechless. This girl was SERIOUSLY ugly. Someone needs to hit her with the pot or the kettle so maybe it'll shake her self-awareness loose.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Some girls have all the luck...

I buy a couple of scratchoffs for my wife every year as a stocking stuffer. Coincidentally, this year's was actually called "Stocking Stuffer"--they were $2 apiece and I bought five.

The way you win is, you scratch the 3 numbers at the top. Then you have 15 chances to win--you scratch 15 places, and if your number is under any of them, you win the cash amount below that number.

So my wife scratches the first "line" and she has an 8, 14, 19. Those are her numbers.

She scratches the first place--it's an 8! And under it is $50. She says, "I won $50!" I look over and think she's full of shit. She's not.

She scratches the other spaces on that line and that line reads 8,14,19. Yeah, her exact number. And the amounts under them are $50, $50, $10.

She's won $110 from the first line alone. And I'm thinking, "Did I accidentally buy a joke ticket? Is there a misprint problem?"

She scratches off the rest of the card, and I'm not kidding: Every number is one of her numbers. Every number on the ticket. For varying amounts, she's won a total of $380.

But wait...there's one more bonus scratch space. Scratch that off--if you get a snowflake, you win $20 instantly.

Yep--there was a snowflake under it. Merry freakin' Christmas--she won $400 on one scratch off.

So my New Year's resolution is to scratch off her tickets before I give them to her, and then only give her ones that are winners under $10. :)

How I Know I'm A Filmmaker

So I'm driving home from a private showing of AVP2. (quick summary: It's okay. Better than the first AVP, with some cool stuff, but not super great)

It's like 3:15am and I'm thinking: "Jesus, look how empty these roads are. This would be great footage for, like, an end of the world kind of flick."

My sane self is going: "Dude, it's 3:15am Christmas morning. No way are you going to go home, get your camera and tripod, and go out in the cold to videotape empty roads."

Fifteen minutes later I'm cruising the roads with my camera and tripod. I get out above 695--this is a 6-8 lane highway that ALWAYS has cars on it. It's the biggest road in the state--you can see for long lengths, and I mean---it is just empty.

I shoot some video. It's very cold. On occasion a car drives by, but I get some cool shots. Some pans and zooms, so you know I didn't just shoot a frame and still-frame the second there were no cars.

I drive around some more. I shoot some more stuff. The occasional car that drives by slows to look at me, and I keep waiting for the cop I know is going to show up to ask me what I'm doing. Not one shows up(though I do see some at the 7-11s I pass).

The biggest problem is finding roads lit well enough to show there's no cars on them. I get some decent stuff.

I'm back in my house by 5am. How many people are insane enough to do that? Especially when I don't even have a script in mind for the footage I'm shooting?

Sunday, December 23, 2007


Day 2 without my Xbox 360. Not sure how much longer I can hold out. Am hallucinating. Not thinking clearly. Starting to believe Bush is a good president, perhaps Fox News is fair and balanced...

If somebody finds this, tell my family I love them.

I'll hold on as long as possible. So weak. So...bored...

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Xmas Party

For the third time this year I got dressed up nicely tonight and went to my wife's company Christmas party. She works for Costco, so the parties are typically pretty big--around 100 people. Lot of drinking and dancing.

I don't go that often though. The DJ's have been absolutely horrendous every year I go.

This year it's even closer to my house than usual, barely two miles away. Sweet. I'm not feeling good, so I won't be drinking much, but it's nice that we don't have to drive too far.

We get there about a half hour after it starts...and there's like 20 people there. It's weird.

We sit down at a table with some of my wife's friends, grab a drink. Eat a salad. Everybody comments that it's so strange that nobody's showed up yet.

The one constant is that the DJ is THE WORST. I'm not kidding--most of the people at this party are over 30, many of them over 40. And the DJ is playing Alvin 7 The Chipmunks Christmas tunes, followed by some horrible country stuff.

Then he'll pop into songs that I wish I knew what they were--you would laugh your ass off. We couldn't believe this guy was getting paid to play this horrible stuff.

We ate dinner--he kept playing garbage. A few more people showed up, but the most that were ever there was 31. (I counted)

Only good news was that they did door prizes like they do every year--and since there was only 31 people there, we actually won for once! A forty-dollar gift certificate to Romano's. I've never eaten there.

I was kind of hoping to win an Xbox 360 since my just blew itself up. I was going to blog about it but it's depressing.

Anyway, DJ in total played two decent songs. We left around midnight. I told the people at the table--"Hey, see you in another five years."

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Yeah, I Knew It

It's funny to see a test with this few questions gives me about the same result as I get on those long 100 question ones...

IQ Test Score

Give it a shot.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Democracy: It's a Good Thing, Right?


See, let's examine it real quickly. You've got 10 people in a room, with 8 of them being retarded and 2 of them being normal.

You ask them "Would you like to jump off a bridge?"

The 2 normal people say No, 1 retard says "I dunno" and the other 7 say Yes.

It's a democracy, so everyone has to jump off the bridge.

I feel, more and more, like I'm living in a country of retards. No offense to you guys--I'm sure you're all bright people if you're reading this blog :) --but the population isn't growing smarter, it's just growing.

And since everybody's vote is equal in value, the smart ones of us are getting overwhelmed by the 'tards.

I don't have any answer for it other than for me to take over the country, but I'll work on it. I may have to start my own country.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Peanut Butter Cookies Get No Respect

Came home from the movies tonight. My wife had made cookies.

Chocolate chip, check. Oatmeal, check(and ewwww). Couple others hard to identify.

I ask, "Hey, got any peanut butter cookies?" She tells me no.

See, it's like that everywhere. At the 7-11 they have little bags of cookies all the time. Every kind...but peanut butter.

WTF is it with that? They're the best kind, and nobody makes them?

What a gyp.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I've been what?

Oh, for Christ's sake--a tagging. I rarely do these, and barely noticed it at first. So enjoy.

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1: I wet my bed until I was 17 years old. One time I did it at a sleepover, woke up in pee, and being the sly schemer, took a glass of water and acted like I accidentally dumped it on myself trying to drink from it.

2: I have been to court for traffic offenses eight times, and not once has the state given me a Guilty verdict. (Seven Not Guilty's and one PBJ(Probation Before Judgement))

3: I completed math courses through Calculus 3, and have not once used a single principle in my life. (I even took Calculus 1 twice, receiving a D both times--they said I couldn't take it again, so they pushed me to Calc 2, where I got a C and then I got a B in Calculus 3)

4: I have only been out of the continental US once--to the Bahamas for my honeymoon about seven years ago. I'd really like to go again.

5: I'm a little insane; okay, I was about to explain why, and had even typed it, but I think it's best for all of us if I just don't tell you. You're probably paranoid enough about me already.

6: I do not believe in UFOs or ghosts or any kind of supernatural stuff. Never have, never will. Jesus also falls under this category.

7: I'm extremely nostalgiac.

8: I cannot sleep in silence. A fan whirring or a soft radio or something needs to be making a noise, or my brain will not shut off. (ok, most of the time it won't shut off anyway)

Who am I supposed to tag? Everybody here's been tagged, so whatever!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Party Nights AKA Mapquest Sucks

Ok, got all dolled up for the party.

Mapquest had two directions wrong. Once we got closer we saw spotlights in the distance, and my wife joked "Hey, that's probably for the party."

Turns out, it was.

This guy is loaded. Lives in a giant mansion on the water in Annapolis. We walk up and he has security guards dressed like James Bond thugs, with fake rifles on their backs. A giant neon sign at the entrance says "CASINO ROYALE".

Inside all of the furniture has been removed. Roulette tables, crap tables, other gambling things have been set up. A giant frosted glass screen covers the back wall of the room, and scantily-clad chicks dance behind it, giving that James Bond opening-sequence feel.

Other scantily clad chicks walk around in form-fitting scuba-outfits, ala Halle Berry when she comes out of the water. There are giant ice sculptures of the bond logo gun with 007 carved out.

An open bar on the left, a buffet of food on the right. The liquor is top shelf.

Downstairs is another open bar, more food. Out the back door is a giant tent covering the inground pool, and there's a live band playing out there in front of the third open bar.

I mean--this party clearly cost more than FOC1 and 2 put together. I met Frank(who got me the invite) at the front door, and the party turned into a mini-FOC2 premiere reunion.

Johnny "Paisan" was there. Joe, one of the 2nd unit cameramen from FOC2, was there. A couple of other local actors who had been at the premiere.

I drank a little, my wife drank a lot. Frank tried to introduce me to The Guy a couple of times, but The Guy was always tied up with 10 people around him. Everybody wanted to talk to him.

So I talked to a lot of other people. It was funny how many of them would light up when FOC was mentioned. It seemed they had all heard of me or the film. It was a little weird.

I had planned on leaving around 11pm to make the other party, but we didn't end up leaving until 1am. On the way out I stopped The Guy and introduced myself. He knew who I was--at first I thought he was BS'ing until he said, "Man you've lost a lot of weight". He said he watched the extras of all the movies, so he'd seen me in that.

He was pretty drunk, so I don't know if he'll even remember me, but we'll see. Seemed like a pretty likable guy.

We still went to the other party, which was still going. Much lower key, so it was nice to change out of the monkey suit. All in all, a fun night.

(And I would have taken some pics at the party, but my wife put her camera in the coat check. )

Monday, December 10, 2007


Ever notice how things come in bunches?

Like, most of the time I have a bunch of nothing to do. Nothing going on, nowhere to go, no incentive to live. Little tongue-in-cheek, but there it is.

Not this week.

On Friday I have not one, but two, parties to attend. The first is being thrown by what can only be called a Big Fish. He's executive produced two pretty big movies(especially since he lives in Annapolis) in the past two years. One was an After Dark horrorfest movie from year one and the other was a movie featuring Marisa Tomei.

Word has it that he actually paid for the entire budget for the AD movie out of his pocket(it was about 2 mil).

He's looking to get more involved in local film--he wants to write and direct some films on his own. The catch is that he knows nothing about writing or directing.

Gee--if only there was someone in this area who did...

So I'm going to go, see if I can help him out with his project, and then maybe talk him into exec producing one of my flicks for what would be chump-change to him.

The party he's throwing is at his mansion. It's James Bond themed, so everybody's dressing nice--tuxedo--and he's got craps tables and roulette and stuff. Should be fun.

Then afterward a buddy is throwing about the opposite of this party. I believe it will be a lot of slackers, a lot of marijuana smoke, a lot of drunken fun. And I'll be showing up in my tux. Should be weird.

Anyway, I just added the Big Fish's movie to my Netflix list so I can watch it before the party. I haven't seen it, so I figure I should be prepared in case he asks. I just hope it doesn't suck, because then I'll have to act like I haven't seen it rather than tell him it's a piece of junk.

Saturday, December 08, 2007


So the limited FOC2 is gonna happen. Had too many people asking and I've got too much money invested in it--remind me not to be the sole executive producer next time.

Also funny--just heard about a company that turns movies HD--they're the company doing it to all of the old films that were never shot in HD. I hear they do very nice work. Wonder how much it would cost for FOC2 to go HD...

Prepping for the Christmas watch. I've pulled The Ref(which I try to watch every Xmas but it doesn't always happen). Also have Black Christmas coming from Netflix--I hear it's garbage, but I had to wait til the season to watch it. Also am going to watch the remake of Assault on Precinct 13--I liked it when I saw it a long time ago.

Meanwhile--just watched The Invisible(blah) and About A Boy(Not as funny as I remember).

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Salt Is Death

I saw an item on the news today--wow, Americans are getting twice as much salt per day as they should. Scaaaaary.

It's because of...(dunno, I may have dozed off here)...but if restaurants would just cut in half the amount of salt they put on items, then it would save like 100,000 lives a year.

And yeah, I'm cynical. But I thought, "Really, do we need 100,000 more people in the world than we have? Is there anyone who thinks, 'Man, the answers to the world's problems is MORE PEOPLE!"?

Whenever those kind of stats come up, I just think--Hey, the fewer people, the better.

Then I can hear the old "abortion" argument--what if one of those was Einstein or Mozart? Let's be honest: If one of those was Einstein or Mozart, then five of them were Hitler, twelve of them were Dahmer, 50 of them were pedophiles, etc.

Even trade if you ask me.

I dunno. I think my cynicism has beaten me down. Whenever I see one of those movies/television shows where an alien or something declares that "Man is worth saving--see how noble and loving they can be!"...I just shake my head. I don't believe it.

I honestly don't think that mankind, on the whole, is a more positive force than negative. Am I wrong?

Monday, November 26, 2007

My Team Is The Best

I've been a Miami Dolphins fan since I was a little kid. The reason isn't important.

I used to be rabid, but calmed down after Marino left. They just weren't the same Dolphins--they were just bad.

But this year they're setting new lows. Going into this week they were 0-10. Yep, winless in 10 games. It's actually pretty hard to lose that many games in a row, even if you do suck.

I had forgotten that tonight they played the Steelers. There wasn't much hope of them winning. Guess what? Final score of the game: 3-0

That's weird, as it is. It's the lowest scoring game in Monday Night Football's history.

You know what's weirder? Miami lost.

Yep. Couldn't score 4 points. Man, they are some kind of bad.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Mist

So I really wanted to see this movie--I mean, Darabont doing King stuff again. I'm there even if he does Gerald's Game.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was over and I figured I might take in the late show(11:15pm). I called my buddy that works there and asked how busy the theater was--no way was I going if the place was a zoo. He said they weren't very busy.

Sweet. I called another buddy and he said he'd meet me up there.

We walk in the theater and it really isn't very crowded. We sit down. I'm thinking--hey, maybe coming to the late show wouldn't be so bad. (You know what I mean--they're typically populated by loud, obnoxious drunk people. I figured--most drunk people on Thanksgiving would stay home, right?)

With only five minutes to go before showtime, the theater starts to fill up. A group of loud people come in, but thankfully go sit WAY in the back.

The movie starts--people continue to chatter. I'm hoping they'll settle down.

Nope, still chatter. And not just one or two people. It's hard to zero in on where it's coming from. Someone shouts, "Shut the f*ck up!" and some people laugh.

The movie continues. Most people have fallen fairly quiet as the movie really begins to get tense. But there's this CHIRPING every minute or so. I can't determine if it's someone in the theater's phone or if it's in the actual film.

Then the movie fades to black and the CHIRPING happens--it's someone's goddamn phone. And it's been going on for like 5 minutes. Someone else shouts "Shut that f*cking thing off! and the offending girl shouts back, "You shut the f*ck up!"

I don't get it--this girl knows it's her phone and she hasn't shut it off. I notice people getting up and leaving--I hope to get a manager.

Sure enough, about fifteen minutes later a manager and a cop come in and stand at the bottom. The chirping has stopped, but someone's still talking on occasion.

Finally the manager goes up the stairs--I hear talking, then a loud voice clearly says, "Okay, you're out of here. Let's go!" Someone else says, "Fine." The loud voice: "Now!"

The cop walks up the stairs too. A second later the loud entourage is escorted out--shouting things in the middle of the movie just to get their last annoyance in. (or so I thought)

After they're finally outside I thought, "Hey, we can finally enjoy the last hour of so of the movie."

But no. Loud shouting outside of the theater can be heard--the group is apparently arguing with the cop or the manager. It goes on for another couple of minutes.

Staggering. But after that it was quiet.

The movie was pretty good. It's stays relatively faithful to the story(I think--been a while since I read it, but now I'm gonna re-read it) but the ending of the movie is a doozy. It's not too open-ended like King's short story, but prepare yourself--it's pretty tough.

That's three good movies I've seen lately. I don't know how this trend can continue unless all those bad Netflix movies I've been renting are generating good karma for me.

Next from Netflix, unsure why: I Spit On Your Grave, Cannibal Holocaust, and Rescue Dawn.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

No Country For Old Men

Reviewing a lot of movies lately--maybe I should just turn this into a movie critique blog...

Anyway, didn't know much about this flick other than the Coen's did it.

Without spoiling much, let me say it was pretty great. Funny dialogue--I mean, the most ridiculously simple conversation turns into very funny stuff. Javier Bardem--who I always kind of thought was a goofy older guy--turns in one of the most chilling portrayal of a sociopath I've seen in a long time.

Good performances all around, from Josh Brolin(anyone who's considered a joke needs to look at how this guy turned his career around; remember when he was in nothing but crappy direct-2-dvd flicks?) to Bardem to Tommy Lee Jones.

My only gripe is that the movie has no climax. There's lots of buildup all around, but the ends just kind of meanders in, and culminates in the off-screen death of one of the main characters. It's a little strange, and really the only thing keeping me from saying this movie is the best movie I've seen in a couple of years.

Go check it out--it's along the lines of Fargo more than The Big Lebowski, if you're trying to gauge the Coen-ism of it.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I Am Beowulf(Or How 3D Is Back(And Cool))

Saw this Tuesday night. Gotta say, it's a lot of fun.

The 3D is very cool--none of that red/blue stuff.

Not gonna say a lot about it, but I do want to see it again so maybe I can pay more attention to the 3D. I'd recommend seeing it, but it's a pretty hard PG-13, so I wouldn't take any real youngsters with you.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Afterdark Horrorfest: 0 for 2

Case in point: Tooth and Nail.

This movie is some kind of bad. The script is so so sooooooo laughably bad...I just don't know what to say.

Let's start. It's a post-apocalyptic world. Why? Well, we ran out of gas faster than we expected. I can't tell you, however, why that means the end of the world. Ever heard of electricity? (and for those that don't know, we can actually get electricity without gas...)

But no--we ran out of gas so now no one has electricity or power, the world is in chaos! I mean, I guess it is. That's what they tell you. But really, all we see are ten or so people stuck in a hospital--it's where they've decided to try to live out their existence.

95% of the flick takes place here. You've got your cliche'd characters: Tough guy(you know this because his name's Viper), smart guy(you know because his name's Darwin). I'm not kidding--those are the names.

I'm surprised the rest of the cast isn't named 'Tardgirl, Slut, Grumpy, Newgirl, Mexican, and All American.

So tough guy leaves--he doesn't like how stuff is run. Then some rejects out of Road Warrior show up. Seriously, I think this was supposed to be like a year after we ran out of gas. Is there a How To Dress In the Post-Apoc World For Dummies that says you paint your face, put on leather, and carry bladed weapons?

And what we learn is--they're cannibals! Ooooooooh, so scary. But it leads to this gem of dialogue, and I swear I am not exaggerating.

Girl1: "They're cannibals. They eat people. They came, they took my family and friends, and they ate them."

Guy: "What do you mean?"

I actually started laughing in the theater. How much more clear could the girl have been? What about her three sentences in a row could be misinterpreted?

Did I mention Michael Madsen's slumming in this thing? He shows up, tries to be menacing, but he's whistling "Whistle While You Work"--yeah, the 7 Dwarfs thing. Is it scary? No. Is it funny in the wrong kind of way? Yeah.

Then he shows up and says to one girl: "We can do this the easy way. We can do this the hard way." And I swear to you I couldn't stop picturing his next words being(in the Fat Bastard accent): "Get in mah belly!"

But you see--these cannibals come, kill one person and then sound a horn, and everyone leaves with their one meal. Why? Because they only want fresh meat. So they will be feet away from another victim, but when they hear the horn, they turn around and leave.

And this is the most ridiculous plan I've ever heard. Why not take them prisoner for one night--save the trouble of looking for them the next night, and maybe getting away.

Perhaps they don't have anywhere they could hold them? you might think. Well, later on they DO take the little girl prisoner and hold her in a nice jail-like cell. So there goes that argument.

Also, these cannibals only hunt at night. They come looking for our protags and I was just wondering--are you kidding? This hospital is like the size of Johns Hopkins and the cannibals don't have flashlights of any kind. Hey, pick a dark room and huddle in the back corner of it. There's no way the ten or so of them could check them all--and without light they would literally have to feel around to see if you were in each one.

I could go on. This movie is so full of ridiculousness that by the end I wasn't the only one scoffing out loud. Of course Viper comes back and saves the day. Of course the main chick who got attached to the little girl(who bears a resemblance to Newt) goes all Sigourney Weaver by the end of the movie.(and in another laughably bad part she paints herself up ala Rambo before she goes to kill the bad guys WHO SHE'S ALREADY INCAPACITATED)

Really, I'm now rethinking my whole view of the Afterdark stuff. Counting last years AD films, I've seen a total of six. Four of them sucked and two were okay. Not good odds.

I have a preview screening of Beowulf in 3D I can see tomorrow, or I can take in Nightmare Man and Mulberry Street. Tough call.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Cool Tidbit

A buddy of mine that works at FYE brought me a present yesterday. It's a 6 FOOT by 6 FOOT cardstock posterboard that all FYE's had hanging up for Halloween. It says FAN FRIGHT FEST across it, and features like 100 movie box covers on it.

There's Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Scream, The Ring. A lot of big movies.

Why did he bring this to me? Smack dab in the middle of them is my first flick, HH.

No, I can't explain it. There are no other microbudget movies on there. If they were gonna put one of my flicks on there, I'd have bet it would be FOC, since FOC had LGF as a distributor.

HH has a nobody distributor(it's now with a company called Trinity). So I can't explain why they'd put it on there--but it's very cool to be featured on there with some distinguished company.

But I'll be the first to admit that it shouldn't be there amongst those giants...

Friday, November 09, 2007

Horrorfest: 0 For 1

One of the things I love about movies is discovering great writer/directors. There's just something extra cool about finding a M.Night Shyamalan or a Neil Marshall. You figure that whatever they put out is probably going to be pretty good.

Because it's hard to find screenwriters whose movies are always good, just as it's hard to find directors whose movies are always good. I think it's why Spielberg is so popular--he's got that magic touch where he seems to be able to make just about any movie accessible to the mainstream audience.

I hope to be one of those guys--the writer/directors who put out interesting product, so if you like one of my movies then you'll probably like most of them.

With that in mind I went to see Unearthed, one of the Afterdark Horrorfest movies. It's written/directed by the guy who wrote/directed Dead and Breakfast, a pretty original zombie comedy musical. I saw an interview where he talked about Unearthed, a departure into the straight monster movie.

I figured he'd bring something new and fresh to his monster movie. I figured wrong.

The movie has a number of things going against it, but first and foremost is the script. It's just so mediocre that it's hard to believe anyone signed up for it. So many little issues--it seemed like a script that got rushed so they could beat the writer's strike, except that this was written and shot over a year ago.

For instance(and I'll stay pretty spoiler-less): There's a hot, 25 year old sheriff of this desert town. And almost no one mentions how odd this is. But lest they stray too far from stereotype, she has a troubled past and is now a drunk. We're treated to some ridiculous flashbacks to what happened, and they really have no bearing on the story at all.

A truck gets in an accident and blocks the only road out of this town. The sheriff goes to investigate, and as she gets out of her car she pulls out her rifle and takes it with her to look over the wreckage. How many cops do you know that pull out their rifles to investigate car crashes?

She finds an unidentifiable piece of animal at the wreckage, so she takes it to this Indian scientist chick, who's also attractive and young. This girl does some ridiculous test and declares that it's a bonafide unique creature, neither animal or plant. How many cops who find a tiny piece of animal at the scene of a wreckage would take it to a scientist to find out what it was? In the movie it looked a little bit like a lizard tail, so I think most would have assumed that's what it was. And how many plant scientists could tell you that much about a piece of flesh within 24 hours?

Little things like that added up. They're being chased by the creature and are having this discussion about it being an ancient Indian god, and suddenly the Indian scientist chick blurts out that No--because it has DNA from other things inside it, it's obviously an alien organism sent out to our planet to harvest our DNA. She's not kidding, and if she's right(they never tell you) then there's NO WAY she could have come up with this given what she knew.

So, ignoring the script, the next problem is the cinematography. This movie is DARK. Crazy dark and shot in crazy closeups during the action, so you have no idea what's going on. I kid you not, there were 30 second increments where I couldn't tell what was going on.

The creature: 1 part Pumpkinhead, 1 part Relic creature, and 2 parts Alien. At times it looked very cool. Some CGI was nice, others were laughably bad. On a big-budget movie like Spider-man you'd assume different FX houses did different scenes, but I'm sure the same house did all of them for this flick so I have no idea why some of the scenes are terrible, while some are decent.

Acting was so so, but it's a case of Episode I. Hard to tell if the actors are crappy or if the script is so bad it's making them look that way.

Anyway, hope to catch a couple of other movies. Fingers crossed they're better than last year's crop.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Things You Didn't Know About Autistic Kids 1

Imagine you see someone pick up some food and try a bite. They immediately gag like they're going to puke.

You probably figure the food is bad or something, or at the very least that they don't like it.

If that person is autistic, you'd be wrong.

We first noticed it a long time ago. First place it happened was Chik-Fil-A. The kid would try to eat his chicken and he'd gag. So I'd tell my wife, "He doesn't like it."

But he'd continue to try to eat it anyway. At first I figured--that's dedication. As it turns out, he does like it. But there are certain textures of food that will make him gag even though he likes the taste, and Chik-Fil-A chicken is one of them. McDonald's chicken won't do it. Wendy's chicken sometimes does it.

Anyway, just thought ya might like to know. We've now got the kid on a weird diet I'll tell ya about later. By the time I'm done with you you'll be more sick of autism than I am...*

*actually, that's impossible.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Halloween Fun

Halloween day came around when my wife woke me at 2pm to tell me that she was going to the emergency room.

The previous day she hadn't felt good and pretty much slept the day away. Got up for about a half hour, but went right back to bed. Her stomach.

So she tells me she's going to get her mom to take her to the emergency room and I should watch the kid. She leaves.

After I get my act together I figure I'll throw Logan's costume on and take some pictures for her so she wouldn't miss that. Logan's game for it, so here ya go:

Anyway, I took the kid up to the hospital a couple of hours later and find out I missed my wife checking out by fifteen minutes. We catch up to her back at the house. The doctors say they think it's a kidney stone; they give her lots of good pain medication.

A quick note on Halloween:
-I know this isn't charitable and all that, but I am so tired of people bringing their effing kids to my neighborhood to collect candy WHEN THEY DON'T LIVE HERE. WTF is that? Vans will pull up, a bunch of kids pile out, and they'll hit the houses, then back into the van to drive to another street.

Hey, if your neighbohood doesn't have trick or treating, move to another neighborhood. Don't come begging at my door. Have some pride.

Anyway, days later and the wife seems to be getting better.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Pumpkin Party

So, tonight my wife had that pumpkin party that was supposed to be last week but got rained out twice.

My wife goes all out--she makes all sorts of Halloween-themed food items, decorates everything, and in general exhausts herself.

Relatives show up with their spawn, eating commences. Outside we have a fire pit that they've lit.

There's the pumpkin-carving tent where people carved their pumpkins. I abstained this year. Just not in the mood. Jesus, am I old...

There were twelve adults and eight kids, but only seven pumpkins got carved. Guess I wasn't the only old person there. Here's a picture of the four that stayed long enough for a pic.

Anyway, hopefully next year I'll have more time to get back into the spirit...

Friday, October 26, 2007

Suck My Deck

Working on the porch reminded me of something.

Years ago--like, back when my brother and I still lived at home with our parents--my dad decided he wanted a deck instead of the concrete slab he had out there. Like a real 15X20 wooden deck that was like 5 feet off the ground so you could walk right out the sliding glass door onto it.

My brother and I would, of course, be expected to help out. So we did.

And it so happened that while we were in the middle of the two-week build that my grandad came into town visiting. And he, like my dad, thinks he knows everything.

So one day my grandad goes out there to "help" my dad work on the deck. You should have seen it: work comes to a grinding halt. My grandad thinks my dad is doing FILL IN THE BLANK wrong. My dad says he's doing it right. They argue. They argue for a LONG time.

Once they finally agree that it's my dad's deck and he's going to make the decision whether it's right or wrong, they continue. Until ten minutes later when my grandad thinks my dad is making another mistake. And it begins again.

Anyway, I was reminded of this when my dad and I worked on my porch, but not because of the similarities. Quite the opposite. You see, for two people to have these long arguments requires that both people care about what they're doing.

And I don't. It's not that I don't like my porch. But I'm so much more a "function over appearance" person that if the deck works, I don't care how it looks.

My wife and I fight over this all the time. She's the opposite.

She bought this great rug for downstairs, she throws it down and shows it to me. It looks great. However, I can't open my goddamn refrigerator anymore. The door rubs the carpet, which bunches up, and then it's all stuck.

She wonders why my coat is always hung over the kitchen chair or tossed on the ground next to it. I told her I wanted to put a coat rack on the wall behind the front door. "That would be ugly," she says. "Use the coat closet."

There is no way that I am going to walk in, go to the coat closet, open it, take out a hanger, hang up the coat, and shut the closet every time I come home--not to mention the reverse every time I leave. I just wanna grab my coat and hustle out. The coat hanger would work, but wouldn't be pretty.

Seriously, she has a problem. If it's pretty she'll buy it, even if we don't need it(and I can tell you we don't have room for it). And especially if it doesn't work as well as the non-pretty version we already own.

I gotta start looking for the future Mrs. K the 2nd. You know, for when I kill this one.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Sunday my wife tells me that she and my dad are going to "fix the moulding on my porch". I say cool, whatever. What I heard was "I am going to do something that involves ZERO work on your part, Kev."

I'm totally okay with that.

My dad comes over and pulls off the old moulding and says that all the wood out there is completely rotted. We've had a number of flooding incidents, and the house is like 50 years old.

The bad news is that he decides we need to rip it all out and rebuild it. Which, if you noticed, now involves ME.

I figure, how bad can it be?

Monday we spend all day ripping out wood and then attempting to repair the places under the doors--tricky stuff because we have to keep it all supported or the entire thing will drop under the weight of the porch. So Monday we accomplish almost nothing.

See, we're doing this because my wife is having a "Pumpkin Party" on Thursday night for the family. I dunno, don't ask.

Tuesday we begin cutting wood sheets and work some more on the doors and the bottom braces. We started working at 1pm and my dad left at 8:30pm. I work until 10:30am and am totally exhausted. My body aches. And we've only gotten one little corner section done.

Wednesday I take off early from my store(thanks Brad!) to go help my dad finish--he was going to try to do it by himself but there's no way he would have been able to do much. We busted ass and got most of it done before my dad left at. But I finished the last hour and did some beautiful carpentry.

I walk into the house--my wife and kid are in the kitchen. "Ta-Fu**ing-Dah!" I exclaim. "I'm done!"

My wife says, "You hungry?"

My kid(who's autistic and doesn't speak very well) says very clearly "Ta-fu**ing dah!" and he laughs like I did.

My wife glares at me. "Oh, that's great!"

I can't stop laughing. It's so funny. Almost made all that work worthwhile.


Saturday, October 20, 2007

Currently Watching

I've seen a couple of people post things at the bottom of each blog they do, like:

Today's Lunch
Currently Watching

And they list what that happens to be.

So I think I'll try to remember to do that in the future.

Anyway, just finished Romancing The Stone. I'd forgotten Zemeckis directed it. It's inspiring that Michael Douglas looked that good and he was 40 at the time. Also neat to see Kathleen Turner before she turned into a man.

Watched some Casshern. Was bored out of my mind. Felt like it was 6 hours long so I finally just turned it off.

Caught The Birds on AMC--don't know why I didn't just pop my dvd in. That movie's still so insanely well-crafted. I again wonder what Hitchcock would be making if he were still alive.

Am in the middle of watching Jaws 2 on free On Demand right now.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

New Star Trek

So they're doing a new version of Star Trek. Yep, the old one with Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty, the bunch.

And J.J. Abrams is doing it. I think he's a good writer/director.

First they cast the guy who plays Sylar on "Heroes" to play Spock. Perfect casting. This guy looks and acts like Nimoy.

The next castings were weird though. They cast the guy who plays Harold in "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" to play Sulu. He's a comedic actor mainly. They cast Simon Pegg--who is hysterical--to play Scotty. Aside from the accent, Scotty is so NOT Simon Pegg.

Moving on, they cast Chekov with some nobody.

The guy they cast as Kirk looks okay, but I've never seen him in anything.

Today they cast Karl Urban as "Bones" McCoy.

Say what? This is "Lord of the Rings", "Doom", and "Pathfinder" Karl Urban? Action guy Karl Urban? Playing "Bones"? This is obviously a RADICAL departure from the original "Bones".

I'll reserve my judgement on the whole thing, but I gotta tell you--I'm nervous about the whole thing.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


So this is weird.

A few weeks back I came home to discover the bungie cord we keep attached to our front gate is off. We keep it there so our dog doesn't accidentally open the gate and run out. And it's NEVER unlatched.

I walk into the yard and don't see our dog Shayna. I go inside and ask my wife where she is and she says, "Outside." I ask her if she unhooked the bungie cord and she says no.

I go outside and look around the yard--Shayna's definitely gone. My wife is flipping out. I ask my neighbor if he saw anyone near our yard. He says he saw two girls petting Shayna over the fence about an hour ago.

I tell my now-crying wife I'm going to go look for her. I drive the most likely route and find someone outside their house. I ask them--"Did you see two little girls walk by with a white dog?" And you'll never believe it. This is the first person I've asked, someone who lives around the corner and down the street.

They say, "Sure! They didn't have a leash so we gave them a rope. We know where that dog lives. They your little girls?" I said no and asked which direction they went. They pointed.

So I drove that way. I pass a court and keep going, and see a girl talking on the phone outside of her house. I ask her the same question and she says she didn't see anybody.

Wow. That was easy. Gotta be in the court.

I drive back to the court and in, and instantly see four girls all huddled in front of a house. In the middle of them is my dog.

You can probably imagine the things going through my head. But I tried to keep my eye on the ball. Ultimately, I just don't want them coming back to my house to take the dog again. So if I get out of the car and rant and rave, and threaten and scare them, will that make them more or less likely to do it again? If they were little boys it might work. Little girls, I decided to take a different tact.

I got out of the car and came over. The girls knew it was my dog and said, "Hey mister, we found your dog! She was following us down the street."

I know it's bullshit. I'm sure they know I know it's bullshit. But I say "Thanks. My wife is crying she's so scared of losing her." In this way I think maybe I can make the girls feel bad for taking her, and maybe they'll be reluctant to do it again.

Also, their father comes out and it's obvious he's pretty pissed at them. He's glad I showed up so he wouldn't have to take the dog back himself. So I figure at the least they're going to get shit from their dad.

I take Shayna home. My wife pulls up a couple of minutes later; she was apparently driving around sobbing, trying to find Shayna.

So that was that.
The other morning at about 5:30am I walk out my door. It's still dark out. I walk down my steps and notice my front gate is wide open. It startles me.

Luckily, Shayna was inside asleep so I didn't worry about that. I couldn't figure it, so I just left.

I returned about 3 hours later and only then did I notice that many of our Halloween decorations from the yard had been stolen. THAT was why the gate was open. Some pinhead kids had come in the night and taken our pumpkin lights, a ghost from the tree, and the wooden HAPPY HALLOWEEN sign from our front gate.

I mean...seriously? Is there big money to be had from stealing Halloween decorations?

The irony being that if I had left Shayna out that night(she likes to sleep outside much of the time) nobody would have come in the yard. Most people are scared of her even though she's very friendly, and even if they're not scared of her, if you approach our gate she will bark--and that will bring me.

Anyway, I come home the next day and my wife has bought new Halloween decorations, but this time she's strapped and tied them down with those plastic ties and also some wire. She's a little insane.

Me, I'd have just abandoned the decorations.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Wicked Forest

Maybe it's just me. I have driven by the big signs the past couple of years. Every Halloween they go up a couple of weeks in advance.

"Wicked Forest". It's some haunted Halloween hay ride or something. Get scared out of your wits! The signs promise frightening fun.

Then I notice who's sponsoring it: A Catholic school.

Is that weird, or is it just me? I mean, back when I was growing up our church didn't even want its youth trick or treating. It was a secular event, which was apparently a bad thing, especially when it was "celebrating the devil's holiday".

But now they're embracing it? Sponsoring events related to it?

I'm not complaining. I always knew Halloween was one of the best holidays of the year, only rivaled by Christmas because of all the good swag you'd get.

I guess I'm just surprised it took this long for the church to get in on the act.

Friday, September 28, 2007

One of them quizzes

Got this from Freak Magnet's blog(see link on right). It's fast, so I did it.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Had a chance to see a couple of pilots for new shows this past week. Here's what I think:

Sarah Connor Chronicles: Not a bad start, but I doubt that they can sustain this level of action the entire series, and if they can't, where does it go? If you don't know who Summer Glau is, then there may be a cool little surprise in the pilot for you.

Bionic Woman: Okay, I haven't checked, but the casting director from this series is either the casting director for Battlestar Galactica or simply loves that show because there are no less than three acting vets from BSG in this show. (Starbuck, "Tigh", and the lawyer who helped defend Baltar). The show is decent, but the FX are pretty weak. I may watch a couple more, but I'm leaning toward waiting for dvd. It is nice to see Miguel Ferrer back to his Robocop self though.

Chuck: I give this one major geek points for throwing in the Zork TSR80 references, but overall I was just kind of bored. (which is weird, since McG directed this episode, and if you know anything about him he's hyper in his directing) I'll probably pass on this one.

I started watching the Journeyman pilot, but my wife wants to watch that too so I'm waiting for her now.

Not that I'm looking for more TV to add to my TIVO list...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

HH & Real Life

Okay, if you haven't seen this yet, check it out:


Pretty weird. I'm torn about how I feel about it. Obviously it's pretty horrendous, but if you've seen the film you know I have a pretty twisted sense of the world. I've read about every serial killer who ever lived, and there's always some interesting footnote about each.

And now my flick will be one of the interesting footnotes to this guy's description. I know it's a bad thing, but part of me is a little thrilled.

Not so coincidentally, I've been watching the imdbpro moviemeter on HH go up. Three weeks ago it was 52,000 and some change. (FOC hovers around 18,000) Two weeks ago when the story broke it moved up to 22,000.

This week it's 15,928.

And to answer your question: No, I don't get any piece of increased rentals.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

All Work And No Play Makes Kev A Dull Boy

Friday, September 07, 2007

3:10 to Yuma

My buddy James is at a new theater. He's been a projectionist at like six theaters, so I always kid him that he's introducing me to the projection room of every theater in Maryland.

The other night I went up to the first private showing I've seen at his "new" theater. We watched 3:10 to Yuma, starring Russel Crowe and Christian Bale. I'll start by saying I've always loved Westerns.

From High Noon to Shane to Silverado to the Clint Eastwood Sergio Leone spaghetti ones. Blame my dad, and my love of a time when you could wear a gun on your hip and shoot people at will.

3:10 to Yuma. I haven't seen the original. But the new one? Damn. It was VERY good. James liked it, and he doesn't typically like Westerns.

It's hard to describe, so I won't bother. I'll only tell you that Russell Crowe is the bad guy, Christian Bale is the good guy, and there are many shades of grey when it comes to motivations in this film.

Typically, when I'm presented with a character in a film whose moral compass is so straight that they will do the right thing regardless of the cost, well, I find those characters either patently unbelievable or downright irritating.

But not in this movie. Bale's character--played absolutely perfect in this film--will not bend, and there was about three times I was thinking, "No way would I stick it out--I'd be out of there." And his fortitude made me admire him rather than laugh at him as unbelievable.

I'm not going to say much because I think it's better going into the story blind. I'd go see it though--it's a fun western with some great performances. We don't get many of them anymore.

Monday, September 03, 2007

My gay taste

I dated a transplanted California girl years ago. One of the things she said she loved about me was my "gay taste in music". We'd go out to clubs a lot and dance.

Sure, I love George Michael, Erasure, Abba, a lot of techno. In the past couple of years I discovered the Scissor Sisters.

But I think it's honestly more that my tastes are extremely diverse. I love a lot of the "gay style" music, but I also love industrial stuff(KMFDM, Front Line Assembly, etc), 70-80's stuff, music scores.

Anyway, I was listening to Pandora(which I wholeheartedly suggest you try--it's free fun) and had plugged in that I liked Savage Garden, so it was playing songs by groups it thought were similar. And damn if it didn't come up with one.

Modern Talking is like what Savage Garden mixed with Yaz/Erasure with a little of the Bee Gee's thrown in would sound like. They're German, they're guys(you may doubt this once you hear them), they're both heterosexual(you will doubt this once you hear them), and they were moderately popular in the mid-80's.

But man are their songs catchy. Here's one you can check out on your own. Enjoy(except for Stewie who's gonna have something to say with the word "ghey" in it, and who can't admit he'll like it because he's not secure enough in his sexuality...).

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Power Outage = Retardation

Friday night our power went out for like four hours. That's hell for me. I can do nothing--have to use a flashlight to even read.

I'm the kind of guy who needs 900 things available to me at any time so when I get bored of one I move on. I absolutely CANNOT stand boredom.

Anyway, power came back on, life resumed.

Saturday night Zig and I watched an indy movie and like 5 minutes later the power went out. It stayed out from 7:30pm - 1:30am.

I was so absolutely bored that I plugged my laptop and my portable dvd player into the car so I could use them. I was also so bored that I bought a new game for my Verizon phone: VZW Chess.

I used to be VERY good at chess. Self taught, but those who know me and how I think(read: 20 moves ahead always) won't find that hard to believe. But I haven't played in like 10 years.

So I boot up the game and leave it at Beginner level figuring: I am SO going to spank this computer.

And basically the computer ass-raped me. It wasn't even close.

I thought: I'm a little rusty. I'll do better on the next one.

Nope. Same result. I thought: Okay, enough playing. I'm gonna think like five moves ahead.

And it was close. I checked him a couple of times and got him down to his King, two Rooks, and four pawns to my King, two rooks, three pawns, and I had better positioning.

But he still won. So if that's beginner, I must have simply gotten retarded. I know five moves ahead's not incredibly advanced but it's way more than beginners use.

Gonna have to get back in practice. Not that I WANT the power to go back out though...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Abyss Beckons

Okay. I'm in a dark place right now. Not literally, but mentally.

Those who know me may be thinking, "Why?" And it really does show that everything is a matter of perception.

My premiere went well. There was between 350-400 people. We got some good press. People geniunely seemed to love the sequel.

But for me, still a partial failure. Even with all those people the theater cost more than I made in ticket sales. That's a very bad thing right now, as I've sunk all my money plus some into FOC2. I can't afford to go any more into debt.

And you have to understand; I am a deeply cynical and pessimistic person. I really am. I had the thought a while back that if I was Steven Spielberg you know what I'd be thinking right now?

Not "Wow, look at all the great films I've made and the millions of filmmakers I've influenced with my style."

I'd be thinking, "Why did I have to go and make Hook?"

Believe me, this is not how I want to be. I don't know why I think like this. Perhaps the opposite of "Ignorance is bliss" is true.

Regardless, I stand now on the brink of a giant decision. I feel like I did just before I shot "Hunting Humans". I was terrified. I was a twenty-six year old writer with minimal training in actually SHOOTING film. I had $11,000 saved, and a credit card with a $4000 limit. I had an amateur actor buddy who I thought was pretty good, but no other real actors that I had confidence in. I had hired a director of photography that I'd only talked to once; his reel looked good though, but who makes a reel with crappy footage?

There was this point where I thought--if I take this chance and fail, where will I stand? What will I have? No place to live, no money, and another failure on my list of failures.

But I jumped off the cliff on that one, and came up okay. Here I am again.

FOC2 doesn't have a distributor. Lionsgate wants it, sure. A couple of other companies have also contacted me. But I can almost guarantee none of them will pay me what I want for it.

What appears to happen is that the distributor makes all the money on the movie and throws scraps to the actual filmmaker. So for the past year I have been doing pretty extensive research into what it would take to become a distributor.

It's expensive. It's time-consuming. It's risky.

But if it pays off, it pays off BIG. So I'm sending out a screener of FOC2 to my rep tomorrow but I'm standing at the brink of simply going ahead with the plan to distribute and get the movie into Blockbuster/HV/Netflix/Amazon/Best Buy/etc on my own.

Scary scary stuff though.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Slacker slacker

Yeah, been slacking on the blog of late. Been INSANELY busy.

Got the big premiere this week so I'll be non-stop working to make sure it goes off with no problem. Next week I'll hopefully get back to a more regular thing. Hopefully.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Thursday, July 26, 2007

H-find 07

Okay, I didn't want to post this on the regular forums I frequent because I'm not looking to start a fight.

But I'm curious as to how many people are unimpressed by the Hfind celebrity list this year? Is it just me?

It's just--Hfind is supposed to be a huge show with big stars, but their lineup simply PALES in comparison to ANY other show on the east coast. Chiller, Monster mania, Fango.

I mean, maybe it's simply subjective, but nobody on that list besides Michael Gross interests me--you tell me. Does the list look a little light or is it me?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

FOC2: The Premiere

Yep. It's done. And I don't mind telling you that it's easily the best movie I've done. With the score in, pieces of it are actually pretty damn good.

That's not to say it doesn't have its problems. There's a few things I wonder if people will pick up on, but I bet we get a lot more positive reviews for this one.

If you're local, I hope you can attend.


Friday, July 13, 2007

Cooler Part of Being a Filmmaker

So you're done your movie. You've cut it, you're relatively happy with it. Some shit is good, some shit is okay, some shit is as good as it's gonna be.

Not quite.

Then you get the score. You lay it in. All of a sudden scenes that were okay are super-cool. Other scenes all of a sudden have an energy they were lacking. NOW they're starting to feel like what you envisioned when you were slaving over the keyboard.

That's where I'm at. I have all but three scenes of FOC2 layed in. The flick is DAYS, yes, DAYS away from being complete.

It feels like it's been a whole lot longer than 14 months since we shot it...but finally, the end is near.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Likin' FearNet

Did I mention I got digital cable recently and there's a billion channels? Today I got to see Gotcha, an 80's flick I hadn't seen in a million years(highlights are Frankie Goes to Hollywood's 'Relax' and Linda Fiorentino's bared breasts).

But the cool thing is that I now get FearNet, which I was first exposed to at my inlaws place at the beach a while back. Got to catch Lifeforce to see if it was as crappy as I remember(pretty much) but you gotta love this description, from the FearNet onscreen menu:

"In this cult classic, a US space probe discovers an alien spaceship, and the lifeless bodies of three human-like creatures. But they're not human nor dead. They are space vampires. They're evil. And actually, one is pretty hot."

Now, could I have described it any better? No way.

Now to see if Krull is as bad as I remember...

Picture Of Me

My mom sends me pictures sometimes. Of me as a kid. I think it's to make me feel old or something. I mean, look at that.

That's my older brother Paul on the left. I'm on the right looking as happy as I always was as a kid. This would have been on one of the trips to my grandparents house in Florida--one of those trips is why I'm a lifelong Miami Dolphins fan, even though I live in Maryland.

But really. Looking at pictures of that person who was me thirty or so years ago is pretty freakin' depressing though. Sheesh.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Rewatchable Romance

I know I've mentioned there are films that, when flipping through the channels, I'll stop on no matter how many times I've seen the films. Tremors. Face/Off. Aliens. Back To The Future.

But there's a hidden side I haven't discusses...for we manly men don't talk of these things. But today, I break the silence.






There are some romances--not many, mind you--but some that will stop my channel-flipping, and today there was one of them.

"Doc Hollywood" is one such (guilty) pleasure. I can't explain why I like the flick so much. Sure, it's hard to go wrong with Michael J. Fox in my book--yes, I even liked his other goofy romantic comedies like "Secrets of My Success", and "For Love Or Money", but Mikey doesn't automatically get a pass in my book. (See: "Casualties of War", "Bright Lights Big City")

But it was on today, and of course I had to watch it. There aren't a whole lot of the romances that I'm into. I like "Love Actually" near Christmas. I enjoy "The Cutting Edge" but don't have the insane obsession with it that my wife has with it(she will literally watch it five or six times a year).

Dunno. Some of them have it. Some of them don't. Those are a few that have it for me.

Stewie, you may now stop hugging yourself while you rock in the corner. Resume your manly endeavors.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Desperate Housewives, My Neighborhood Edition 3

The story changes slightly. Apparently it got garbled in the transition from neighbor to neighbor.

My neighbor's dad was not yet dead. The person who had power of attorney was trying to sell the house BEFORE the dad died. That didn't happen.

The dad just died last week, and now I guess my neighbor was named the heir in the will, so he gets the house.

Good news for him. Bad news for me. Damn dog.

I guess if you lose your wife and your daughter and your dad, a house makes an okay consolation prize. I guess. And then there's the added bonus of being neighbor to someone as cool as me...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Desperate Housewives. My Neighborhood Edition Pt 2

If you haven't read the first part, scroll down about 5 entries.

So you remember my neighbor, the guy whose wife up and left him for some other man, taking their daughter with her? This guy now comes home from work every day, morose and depressed. He used to be pretty friendly, always a smile and a wave when he saw you. Now he looks like he wants to kill himself.

I hear from my wife who heard from the neighbor on the other side of him that it just got worse for the guy. Apparently he's been living in the house next to me for about twenty years, but it's still in his father's name.

His father was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and he died--and whoever has power of attorney over the father's will has decided to kick my neighbor out of his house. The house he's been paying the mortgage on for like twenty years.

So his wife has now hit him with the divorce papers and he's being thrown out of his house. I'll level with you--if the person with the power of attorney didn't agree to give me my money back from paying twenty years of mortgage, I would kill them. I'm not using rhetoric or exaggeration here.

I absolutely would become Aric Blue. I would quietly move out, then stalk the person for about a year. I would figure out how to kill them and get away with it, and I would do it. And I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over it.

But hey, there's a silver lining to all this. If he has to move, he'll have to take his annoying dog with him.

What, you thought I meant that there was a silver lining for him? Nah...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Blog Strike

Ok, that's four blogs without a single response. I'm afraid the management has now gone on strike.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Jericho Saved

Hey, whaddaya know...sometimes the networks CAN do the right thing.

They just announced today that, due to massive viewer support, Jericho's going to get at least seven episodes next year. I know, not many, but at least they can wrap up the story they began last year.

A story that you, if you're not already watching, should check out when it hits dvd. Give it six episodes or so...unlike some other shows, this show is ultimately NOT about the mystery they first present to you. They give you that answer about 3/4 of the way through the season.

But the show's full of surprises and interesting characters. Check it out. Well worth it.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

I Can't Work Like This

Trying to do some editing on a side project for a friend, and VH1 is playing those fuckin' "I Love The 70's" marathons.

I gotta tell ya--when these things run I can't help but pull off my headphones and watch. Granted, the 80's are more my speed, but the 70's ones after 1976--I remember some of those things(I was six years old in 1976).

Like, they just did a segment on the DeLaurentis "King Kong" and I totally remember loving that flick as a kid.

Damn Vh1. Damn you to hell. (I have work to do...)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

In the spirit of the 30th anniversary...

Some things really crack me up. I don't know who has the time to do these things, but my hat's off to them...

Vader's A Smartass

Vader Sessions

Wednesday, May 23, 2007



Heroes. Not so great finale. Little predictable, little cop out-ish, and I'd bet money no one actually died, despite how they tried to make it look. The only bright spot was the last two minutes, which sets up a whole new storyline, but based on how they finished off what they set up in year one, I'm not all that excited.

Lost. Two words. 1) Holy 2)Shit

Now THAT'S how you do a finale. I forgive them for their missteps in season 2. Those who stopped, you dropped too early. Can't wait for season 4.

The Shield is building very nicely to the end, and I have Jericho's last three episodes on my Tivo--no rush now that the idiot network canceled it, but I was very much enjoying it.

But as always, I look forward to the summer where I'm not slave to the TV.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Desperate Housewives, My Neighborhood Edition

Big surprise--I don't really pay any attention to my neighborhood. The neighbors on my left are: Dennis and wife: Dennis is a friendly guy I speak to on occasion. You know, "How's it going? Hot as shit, right?" The wife, well, she's a cold fish. Doesn't smile, doesn't say hi. Seems a bit stuck up. I mean, how can she be stuck up when I'm clearly her superior?

The other night I'm in the bathroom about to shave and I hear SCREAMING next door, from the Dennis side of my house. Of course I go quiet and listen. Dennis' wife is screaming at him about how she's HAD IT! she's SICK of his drinking all the time! she comes home from working all day and he's DRUNK, and NO, she's NOT going to keep quiet! WHO is he afraid is going to hear?!?

Naturally I get my wife and tell her to come here and listen. It goes on for a couple of more minutes, but it became a pretty tedious refrain of "You drink too much" and "I've had enough". If I had to put up with her I'd be drunk most of the day too...

On the other side of my house is...well, I don't know their names. They're fat friendly guy dad, fat friendly wife, and super annoying talky daughter Britney. Then they added the most godawful ugly dog that barks CONSTANTLY, and which has made me reconsider my days as pet assassin.

So...I guess my wife talks to the neighbors more than I do. Not hard to do.

She comes up to me the other day and says--with that wonderful tone that people like to get when they've got juicy gossip to spread--that she talked to the neighbor woman TWO doors up, and it turns out that fat friendly wife took the daughter and moved out. She apparently was having an affair with another man, and has now left fat friendly guy dad for good.

And now fat friendly guy dad has to get renamed super depressed but trying to put on a happy face dad. He comes home with take-out food every night of the week, but not much of a smile. Me, in a show of incredibly empathy, can only wonder why the fat friendly wife couldn't have also taken super-barky dog when she left.

Anyway, I had no idea my neighborhood was so scandalous...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Lost Boys 2

So I hear they're going ahead with the sequel to The Lost Boys, which is one of my all-time favorite flicks. It's gonna be called Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, and I think it's gonna deal with surfer vampires or something. No joke.

And I just...come on. I hear it's gonna be released direct to video. Seriously? That's the best they can do for this sequel?

I mean, like 15 years ago I read(and probably still have it somewhere) the actual script for what they were planning to do as Lost Boys 2(it was called Lost Girls). It featured the Frogs and Corey Haim's character, but didn't have Jason Patric in it(he was apparently moving on to other stuff)

And it wasn't very good. But compared to "The Tribe", it sounds like Oscar material.

Disappointing. Remakes are one thing--I've never had a remake tarnish an original. But a sequel? I can honestly say that the Episode sequels have turned me away from being a Star Wars fan, and Tremors 3 and 4 have negatively impacted the Tremors franchise.

So I dunno. It appears the film is going to get made, so I can't even hope it doesn't. I guess I just hope it doesn't suck as much as it sounds like it's going to.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Weekend Ramble

So this weekend was spent at the in-laws beach house(well, it's what they call their beach house, though it's not actual AT the beach...but it IS close to it...) and there's a few things to mention.

They got the new Comcast digital service there and something I noticed right away was that channel 166 is Something I'd heard of but not realized you could get it in this area(the house is in Delaware, not Maryland) and they had a bunch of cool stuff for free.

John Carpenter month--and I saw a flick on the list that I hadn't seen before: Eyes of Laura Mars. I thought: "I've seen all the Carpenter flicks, haven't I?" Turns out it was directed by Irvin "Empire Strikes Back" Kirshner, but Carpenter gets credit for the story and co-writing the screenplay.

So I played the flick. And isn't it funny to see an old movie you've never seen and witness some well-known actors in roles you've never seen them in. Faye Dunaway. Brad Dourif. Tommy Lee Jones. Rene Auberjonois(spellcheck me--it's that guy from Benson and ST: Deep Space Nine) and also Raul Julia--credited as R.J. in the credits.

The flick starts--Faye Dunaway is Laura. A famous photographer. She has a show at a gallery and meets a handsome man who, not knowing she's the photographer, belittles her work. He's a little creepy but kinda hunky.

Maybe you can see where I'm going with this. I've never seen the movie, so it couldn't have been my subconscious swiping stuff(like sometimes happens). But this is the exact setup in FOC--except my creepy guy knows she's the artist and is just doing it to break the ice and meet her.

Anyway, the movie on the whole was okay. The ending was a little goofy, but it had some cool moments and was directed well. It could be a case of "seen that", so perhaps it was better when it first came out and was more original.

Either way, Fearnet was very cool--all of the movies on the channel were no charge, so this is definitely a channel I wish we got.

Sunday morning we discovered HBO On Demand. We hadn't seen "The Break-Up" with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, but my question is this: How the hell did they get that cast?

I's like they said: "Hey, let's get a well-known actor in EVERY role, I don't care how small!". Case in point: Joey Lauren Adams plays a girlfriend. Cole Hauser and Vincent D'onofrio play Vaughn's brothers--and let's face it, D'onofrio is on screen for maybe five minutes TOPS. This guy is SO much better than that.

Not done: Jason Bateman plays a friend/real estate agent(but he's done this kind of small moonlighting work; see "Smokin' Aces"), Judy Davis plays Aniston's boss, Justin Long plays the gay secretary, Ann Margret plays--hell, I don't remember who she played.

All I can say is, they all owed Vaughn a favor, or the casting director's got incredible connections...

Thursday, May 10, 2007


  • Spidey 3 - Bit of a let down. They tried to put way too much into it and ended up with a lot of stuff that had great potential but that's it. Bruce Campbell was great though.
  • Finished inserting the looping from LA--seems to work okay. Now I await the music so I can see how it all mixes in.
  • Got a weird idea--may do something with it. I know, could I vague it up some more?
  • Still working the shooting script for Wounded Creature. Still not sure I can do it--the location is SUCH a problem. I don't want to compromise and use locations I have access to--I really want to do it just the way I see it in my head.
  • HH had some weird boost on the moviemeter for imdbpro last week. No idea why. It was hovering around 50,000 and all of a sudden it jumped higher than FOC--which it has NEVER done and landed around 11,000. Somebody showing it on TV that I don't know about?
  • I'm going to the beach for my wife's b-day this weekend(we have to celebrate it a week early so we can get the babysitter)--I'd love to relax, but that never happens.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

Weight Weight

I was a little worried about my weight when I went to L.A.

I was 193.5 when I left. That night I had a McDonald's fish sandwich. The next day I had a giant platter of fried fish, and then some chicken fingers later on that night. I wasn't eating a lot of small meals like I should have been.

Next day was more chicken fingers, then that night some vodka drinks and some fried mozzarella cheese.

When I got back I felt like I weighed 500 pounds. The morning I got home I weighed myself to discover I was 197. I went to sleep for 10 hours--woke up and I was 195. I figured--not bad, I basically gained 1.5 pounds in L.A. --I promptly went and got a giant grape snowball, figuring it would be my last cheat before I went back to the diet.

So the next day I went back on the diet--not hard core or anything. Still had chicken nuggets that night. The next day I weighed 193. Then today I weighed 191.5

No idea why the weight is suddenly falling off--but I won't complain. I'm less than 12 pounds away from my target weight of 180. I'm going to totally fit into that tux for the premiere of FOC2...

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Quick recap

I'm back from the L.A. trip. It wasn't too exciting overall, so I'll make it quick.

Got in Friday night and we figured we'd dive right into the looping. I set up the equipment and we tried, but it was SO noisy in her apartment complex that we couldn't do it. We figured we'd try the following night.

Night 1 on the couch with not much sleep.

Day 2 Jacky and Mun were going to go on a hike. I figured, what the hell? It was going to go very near the Hollywood sign, so...
Pretty much my view for the entire hike.

The trail was VERY steep--not so bad if you're doing the leisurely-walk, but Jacky was walking briskly. I haven't done exercise in like 2 years, and have been eating around 1400 calories a day. So I was having a hard time keeping up. I'd say we walked about 2 miles, but much of it was at a 30 degree incline.

Afterward we ate some chicken and went back to Jacky's to try the looping. No go, too much noise. Jacky had to work, so Mun and I went to a local pool hall/bar and shot pool. (Me so sorry, Mun! 6-2 baby!) Had vodka, but didn't help my night of sleep on the couch.Jacky at Mel's Diner

Sunday: Jacky and I went to Mel's Diner for lunch. They shot American Grafitti there. Okay food. She drove me around, showed me where Aaron Spelling lived, the Playboy mansion. A few other sights. Sunday night we again did the looping. Not sure if I'm going to be able to eliminate the noise or not. It was almost comical how every time I hit the record button that was the exact instant the birds would chirp, or someone would start hammering, or a party would start, or someone would turn on a stereo, or a dog would bark. Insanely frustrating.

Chad, the composer for FOC stopped by--I had never met him in person, so that was very cool. He even showed us some stuff about how the "Lost" score is created. Even showed us a brief clip to an upcoming episode(top secret!).

Not much sleep on night 3 either.

The Paramount Lot

Monday. Plane was set to leave at 10:30pm, so Mun got us passes to go on the Paramount lot where he works on "My Boys", a TBS series. Cool place. We went inside and watched them running through some takes. Lot of crew. Lot of equipment. (insert wistful sigh here...)

There was a giant backdrop of a sky that was as large as the drive-in screen at Bengie's. Mun said it was for some new Samuel Jackson flick...

Met up at The Coffee Bean with Oscar-nominated Josh. He used to be just Josh, but the Oscar changes people...
Me and Josh(or Josh and I, if it matters to you)

But seriously, he had some great stories. He moves in much bigger circles than we mortal folk. Perhaps some day...

An interesting anecdote is that the Coffee Bean we were at is across from the DGA(Director's Guild of America).


Mun took me to a mall in Century City and pointed out the Nakitomi building(Die Hard). We ate dinner at Fuddruckers--love those burgers, and then he dropped me at the airport where I had my only star sighting(if you can call it that).

I was at the boarding gate for my plane and the plane arrived and let off some passengers, two of which were Rhea Perlman and Danny Devito. Not too exciting. Then, the red eye flight.

Anyway, am back home. Will be busy checking the audio over the next couple of days. If you haven't seen the new poster created by EA of FOC, go check out

It's pretty cool.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Friday, April 27, 2007

Quick Note

I'm leaving for L.A. today--will be there until Tuesday morning. Not sure what my blogging situation will be, but maybe I'll post some pics. If not, I'll do it when I get back.

Assuming the plane doesn't crash and solve all of my problems... (insert smiley emoticon)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Tell Them Who You Are

Recently watched a documentary recommended by Zig called "Tell Them Who You Are". It's a film shot by cinematographer Haskell Wexler's("One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest", "American Grafitti", about 100 other films) son Mark Wexler, and the thing is really about Mark's relationship, or lack of, with his father.

And as the film went on, I just got more and more depressed. Haskell Wexler is a guy almost 81 years old, clearly sensing his mortality, apparently regretful of the way he's treated his son all of his life, and yet he almost can't help continuing to do so--even on camera when he knows he's on camera.

And here's his son desperately crying out with this movie for his father's approval, which I think most of us can identify with, especially those of us who are sons. In essence he's saying "Hey Dad, I'm trying to BE you! That's how great I think you are, that the best thing I can think of in life is to try to BE you! Can you appreciate it?"

But...his Dad can only criticize and condescend.

And there's a part where Haskell and Mark go visit Mark's mom who now has Alzheimer's, and it's really the first time you see Haskell show anything other than anger or disgust in the entire movie. He cries at what has become of this woman he used to love, this shell of skin that doesn't seem to recognize either of them, and barely says a word.

And then they show a snapshot: Mark Wexler, probably about ten, smiling on his father's young shoulders, and Mark's mom, looking beautiful in her youth--she was a very talented painter. They are vacation in Guatamala. They have their entire future ahead of them. It's bright, and will be filled with nothing but joy and happiness, wonder and success. At least, that's what the people in that snapshot thought.

If you had told her that one day she wouldn't remember her own name, that she'd be old and wrinkled, unable to even walk herself outside to talk with the strangers who claim to be her husband and son, well, she would have told you that you were insane.

And the thing that really bothered me, really depressed me is this: We ALL have that snapshot in time. That moment in time we look back to with fondness, thinking "Oh, to be there again..."

Some of us moreso than others. I have always been an incredibly nostalgiac person. No matter how well my life ever goes I am always looking at the past with regret. The grass WAS always greener on the other side in my mind.

And that pushes me to wonder--why do we try to celebrate growing old? The "Golden Years". There's nothing to celebrate there. Is it because the alternative is too depressing? To actually confront the fact that getting old is nothing but losing your physical and mental facilities while remembering what you used to be capable that too much to bear?

See...I totally get why people latch onto religion. For the hope of it, because there's so little to hope for once you get old.

Unfortunately for me, I don't buy any of the religion stuff. Way too many holes in it.

But I still have hope. Hope that I'll die relatively young. And I hope this brightened your day a little. Cheers.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Family Taste

My family has no taste. I've known it for a while.

I told my brother he had to see this hysterical movie called "Ed Wood" when it came out. So he and my parents sat down and watched it one night, and I still get crap about it from them. "What's so funny about a transvestite?" they asked me.

I could only shake my head.

More recently I had told my brother about "Children of Men". I thought it was one of the best movies I'd seen in a while. Some amazingly-choreographed cinematography and a fascinating storyline(if somewhat swiped from the comic book "Y: The Last Man").

He apparently sat down to watch it with my parents, and again, I'm getting crap for it. "What did you like about that movie?" he asked me. Both my mom and dad shook their head at me and said they're not taking any more recommendations from me.

What can you do? They're family, so I can't exactly disown them...

Friday, April 20, 2007

Let's Hate Me

Prejudice. Maybe I am.

I own the shirt that says: "I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally."

And really, it's true. I have a lot of hate.

So what happens is this: Let's say I don't like someone. Let's say they're black. I may think "Nigger." (Yeah, I saw you flinch at the word--why is it that a word can hold so much power over everyone?)

Anyway--it's not like I'm thinking ALL black people are "niggers". What's really going on is that I've used whatever observation I have of the person to denigrate him. I know that "nigger" is derogatory for black men.

If he was Asian I could think "Chink". If he were overweight I could think "Fatty". If he were gay I could think "Fudgepacker". If he were Spanish I could think "Spic". You get the idea, right?

It's using whatever you know about the person as ammunition, and of course, their appearance is always number one. Is that prejudice?

It's not like I HATE a race of people. There are just certain ones I hate, so I then take whatever hateful word I can find that's applicable.

I'm not saying it's a good thing. Just wondering what you think.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

More Boring Filmmaker Talk

Okay, let's talk about a specific problem encountered by low/no-budget productions that you don't encounter when you have money to burn(ala a studio production).

I'm moving forward with "Wounded Creature". Assuming I can shoot it pretty cheap(which is the only way I would shoot it, given its experimental nature), it appears that my investors are ready and willing to jump back in. Script is more or less done(there may be some minor additions), and I've begun working on a budget, script breakdown and shooting script.

So, in the real world I can find the location I'm going to shoot the scenes at and then do a shooting script. But in reality, I'm trying to break down a script into individual shots without even seeing any of the locations.

For instance: In my mind the house is set up so the kitchen is toward the back of the house, the living room up near the front door. A woman at the front door nearly faints, and someone helps her to a nearby couch.

How exactly do you design the angles for the shots when you don't know where the couch is going to be? If it will even be in sight of the front door? There are too many specifics in the shooting script, where I have nothing but an idea of the house in my mind.

If I'm a studio I can send out a location scout to find that house, or even better, just build a studio home--then I don't have to worry about noise or anything during the takes. High ceilings for easy lighting. Smooth floors for easy dollying.

But I'm not a studio. So here I am banging my head against a wall trying to do the shooting script to an imaginary location.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Weight Update

Now, I haven't mentioned my weight or my diet in like a month. Typically, that would mean my will collapsed and I fell off the wagon, so to speak.

Not so. I'm taking it easy, though. My current version still has me drinking four shakes, but I also eat some chicken fingers or fish sticks for dinner. Other small cheats. I'm still losing weight, but slower. The good news is, I could stay on this current version pretty much forever, and the weight still falls off.

Starting Weight: 228 Current Weight: 196.5

Destination: 180