Saturday, December 27, 2014

Merry Fucking Christmas

Wow, never get tired of the inlaws Xmas debacle. Matter of fact, I decided to finally go ahead and write a screenplay loosely based around it. It'll be my first comedy. People won't believe it's based completely on real shit that's happened.

Watched the Interview. Mildly amusing. Nowhere near as funny as Team America, but it's not terrible. Has some smoking hot Asian chicks in it, who you see briefly topless. I mean, that's gotta be worth something, right?

Followed it up with Prisoners, which I thought was very good. Enjoyed it a lot, and thought both Jake and Hugh were pretty amazing.

Anyway, over the holiday break I'm pretty sure I've gained about 20 pounds. I fixed some of the Xmas cookies my mom used to make. They're basically just butter and sugar. And I've been putting them away. Got a bunch of candy for Xmas too. Eating that.

Diet is in my future...

Also maybe the Panasonic GH4. I look at more and more stuff about it, and hell it's only $1700 for 4K...and for like $20 I can get an adapter to use my lenses. Hell, I can get some decent micro two-thirds glass for it for another $500.

May pull the trigger on it soon. I don't technically NEED it right now, but I want it. Isn't that enough?

Monday, December 22, 2014

Another holiday bearing down...

Every year it seems like I'm shopping later and later for people's gifts. I gotta go out tomorrow and get some.

The wife, no matter how many times I asked, did not provide any Xmas list. So I just randomly bought her some shit.

For most people it's gift cards. Some people think it's boring, but I love getting them, so what's not to like?


Uh, a pretty negative review for GOH. I've been waiting for reviews to pop up, but I guess that only happens when you send out 1000 free screeners to these cheap blog reviewers.

ASIDE:  (I saw a fellow filmmaker on FB post a picture of the just-announced cover to their new DVD that'll be out in Australia, and immediately someone--who must be a friend of theirs--is like "Man, I'd love to get a review copy for MYSHITTYWEBSITE.COM or whatever it's called)

Really, chief? You mean you'd take a free fucking copy of a movie? Wow, you're such a fucking saint. I mean, I'm sure you know how much we indie filmmakers would like to give away free copies of our movie! It only cost us a ton of money, a year or two off our life, but sure--I'd love to burn a fucking 100 copies of this dvd to send to you and every other shitty reviewer with a blog so you can trash our movies, and probably upload it to the torrents.


Anyway, this guy actually bought the movie so I have no problem with him. It's his prerogative, as my good friend Bobby Brown once told me.

Here's the link(you gotta copy/paste it, cuz I don't wanna him to track it back to this blog):

The thing I don't get is that he didn't like my lead's acting. It's the first time I've heard that, and I gotta strongly disagree. Cutting nailed that role, and with a few minor quibbles at specific points, he was right on.


Watched The Babadook. It's pretty good but isn't going to end up on my Best Of list. Probably another victim of Overhype for me.

However I did watch the Inbetweeners 2. If you haven't watched the show on Netflix, by all means do. It's funny, and only three seasons(British 6 episode seasons). Then there was a first movie, which was entertaining but not that funny.

But the, at one point I was laughing so hard I was crying. That rarely happens.

This is a pretty cool fan-made Critters short. Well done.

Hey, bonus picture just because it's Xmas soon!

Thursday, December 18, 2014


This is pretty cool. I don't understand where people get the time to do this shit:

Also, these guys are freakin' sick. How many takes did they have to do of each shot to get a strike, especially the ones on the skateboard park? Crazy.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Cold Christmas

Did I tell you my furnace decided to stop working? No idea what's up with it. Sometimes it ignites and pumps out hot air for like 15 minutes. Then the flames go off and it just runs the blower FOREVER without igniting again.

Other times you can turn it on and the inducer motor blows, but the flames never come out and the blower motor doesn't run.

Did I tell you I've learned all about gas furnaces in the last week? I'm a regular expert. I believe our actual problem is the blower motor, so I ordered one(won't be here for a few days), but I think we screwed ourselves a little more by removing the inducer motor to see what was behind it. It's sealed to the heat exchanger by some fucked up insulation gasket that was probably 30 years old, so naturally it crumbled.

Didn't have one and the store was closed, so we sealed it up as best we could. I think air's leaking out, and that could cause the furnace not to come on because if the vacuum seal isn't tight there it won't induce the furnace to ignite(hence the name).

Ain't that fuckin' fascinating?

Anyway, house gets pretty fuckin' cold without your heater, FYI. We have a space heater and a heater dish, and I guess they're adequate if you're in one small room.

My downstairs is freezing. So my hard drives are loving it.


This is cool. I'd like to own one, put it on my house and just fuckin' kill people with it. You know, random people.

No joy on the ideas for the Xmas thing. I have two videos to do for the big January auction in L.A. anyway, so it's probably for the best.


This video is pretty funny. How not to unload a truck.


On the "Who has this kind of time?" side of things, check out this neighborhood who has synced their Xmas lights together and then shot footage with a drone.

I'm stealing all these videos from here, so why not just go there and cut out the middleman?

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Rushing Holiday

It's coming too fast. Haven't done much shopping for presents.

Working on a new video of all the random footage of my kid that's been shot the last two years as a present for the father-in-law. He loves these things, watches them over and over after I make them.

My wife also complains she never sees any of the videos I've shot, yet I've burned her a copy every time I do it and she's yet to watch one. "No time," she's always saying.

You know, it was like 5:45am this morning and I suddenly wanted a Toasted Almond(which is my favorite drink--Kahlua, Amaretto and milk). Feels like one of those things you just shouldn't do, ya know?

But fuck it, did it anyway. It was good.

Been sorta obsessed with coming up with a Christmas short. Feel like something I've always wanted to do, and hell, the decorations are all up. And you never know, like I've mentioned, I may end up going out on my own on this anthology feature in which case I'm going to need to do five or so shorts.

Had another thought--a lot of people are putting decent shorts online for free right now. Wonder if I should exert some of my admittedly-limited reputation and attempt to put together an anthology feature of OTHER people's films. Do the work of creating Blu-Rays/DVDs and put up the same kind of distribution GOH did and see if we can't all benefit.

I'm gonna think it over. It's bound to be a fuck-ton of work, and if I put up the money to do the Blu's/DVDs then we'd have to make that back before any of the filmmakers make money.

Dunno. Been working on the ridiculous Syfy script that's actually pretty good once you get by the concept. Like, imagine you heard the concept of Sharknado and said Jesus that sounds stupid. But then imagine if you watched the movie and the script was actually good. (You have to imagine it, because it wasn't)

That's sort of what I'm working with.

Then I also have to get back to that Halloween book. Holy fuck I have a lot of shit to do. It's like, I'm ten times as busy as normal but making exactly the same pauper's money. This is GREAT!

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Gnats, The Horror Movie

Know what I like about this picture? Photog knew what was important to put in focus. Her face? Nope. Her gun? Nope. The boobs. Congrats.

So did I mention how my house has been infested by gnats for like 2 months now? You do NOT know how infuriating these things can be.

It's getting so bad I'm thinking about bringing spiders into the house to combat the gnats, and I HATE spiders...

I thought I'd found the nesting place a while back, but then I went away for the weekend and came back to find my dog had shit downstairs near our pool table. My wife hadn't gone downstairs so didn't see it. (and my dog NEVER shits inside, so it was perfect timing)

I got back to find gnats and maggots all over it.

We got rid of that, and I've been killing hundreds of flies through apple cider vinegar, water traps, fly paper. The works. Can't seem to get rid of all of them though.

So yesterday I started a new plan. We shut the basement door constantly, so one way or the other we figure out whether the infestation is upstairs or downstairs.

Seemed to me it was downstairs after a day. I've been looking all over for water, little leaks near the fridge or the washer or the sinks.

It was none of those.

I don't know if I mentioned my downstairs fridge had broken a while ago. Just stopped working. I unplugged it, but it had stuff(a stereo, some booze) on it so we never moved it out. I'd talked about doing it near Halloween, but hadn't.

Well I was searching around downstairs(it's a disaster area) when I happened to glance at it. I's sealed, right? Gnats couldn't be in there?

Holy fuck was I wrong.

I opened the door and it was like the SWARM. I slammed it shut but some still got out. This was like midnight.

I got my wife out of bed, cuz I couldn't get it up the stairs by myself without it possibly opening. We dragged that bitch outside. I'm gonna open it in the light of day. Maybe I'll video it in case the gnats attack me and die.

On the film front, I volunteered to rough cut one of the other shorts for the anthology I'm producing. I wanted to see if they missed any shots on day 2.

Rough cut it together. It's rough. I'm more and more worried we can't compete with the mass of horror anthologies that are showing up. And this is the one I was there for a day of...what are the others gonna look like?

Mine is more or less done other than music, but I don't want to get their music guy to do mine because if I go off on my own with my short I don't want to have wasted their music guy's time.

My buddy's web series just premiered episode one of season two. You can see it here:

Enjoy my credits(on season 2).