Saturday, August 17, 2019


So...yeah, I failed miserably to get to the page I wanted in this new screenplay I might shoot come November. I'm at page 56 right now. I sort of know what's going to happen in the other 15 or so pages, but I'd like to spice it up a bit--which is very hard to do when you're not sure of the exact location.

Whether I'm actually going to shoot this thing is really dependent on so many things coming together that it's more probably it won't happen.

  • I have to make a lot of money at this convention I'm a guest at in two weeks.
  • All of the actors who said they were in, back when I asked, have to be able to get off at the same time so we can do it. 
  • When I break this script down, I have to be confident we can shoot it in about 8 days.
  • I have to know we can do the FX well. 
  • I have to get a costume for the "monster" made, as well as some other props.


Watched The Boys on Amazon. Lotta fun. Blew through it in two days.

Am rewatching Breaking Bad while I do stuff.

Got asked to do an interview for a book on killer clown movies. Also found that Shivers is featured as one of the top 20 scariest clowns in two different lists--one from Variety magazine. Links here:

Kinda cool, but Variety bags on the movie. Then again, so do I.


Began exposing my kid to some more movies I love. First was The Lost Boys, which he liked.

Next night was Predator. He seemed to like it, though he jumped pretty bad when they first discover the bodies in the jungle. And he thought there was some gross parts.

But then I asked him if he wanted to watch another movie right after, and he asked, "Another long movie?"

I say, "Do you think that was long?" and he says Yes.

I'm thinking...Avengers is fucking 3 hours long, and he watches that shit over and over. So I say "Hey, we can watch another movie or you can go do your thing, whatever you wanna do."

He says "I'm good" and goes upstairs. So there's no way to tell what he's really thinking. Too bad for him, I was gonna show him the original Clash of the Titans and there's boobs in that.

Friday, August 02, 2019

Let The Shaming Begin -- and BUNCHES of new stuff

Okay--things came up, so I only got to page 45. Not great, but I'm continuing at a steady pace now.

We decided to finally bite the bullet and go to the asylum to check it out at night, see if we'd get arrested. We decided to head out about 6pm, figuring we'd be setup and shooting by 7:30pm. I could get some dusk shots and whatnot, then move into the building and do some other tests.

We get to the asylum road and see some bad news RIGHT AWAY--the place we parked across the street, just some parking lot to nothing, is now blocked off. They're doing construction over there now.

Our only other option is a bar that claims you'll get towed, or the actual road by the asylum that has signs every 10 feet that say GOVERNMENT PROPERTY - TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED.

I park there and we mull it over. Can they legally tow me from the shoulder there? It's a public road. I'm not sure. But after a minute I'm like, fuck it, we're here. (even though inside I'm thinking, it would be so much easier to go home...)

We grab the equipment and head into the woods. It's like 95 degrees with tons of humidity. I had totally forgotten that it was July, and that going into the woods in July is fucking STUPID.

And the trail, which is normally clear, is completely overgrown. We have to sort of duck and crawl like 50 feet at one point, and I'm dragging a bag full of lights and equipment, plus my tripod and camera bag.

I'm already regretting this entire trip, and we're not even to the asylum yet. We get to the road that borders the asylum buildings, and see people walking along the road. Lookie-loos, acting like they're not trespassing. Just out for a stroll.

We head over when they aren't looking and into the building we use to get to the main building. And we find some weird shit. Someone has started cleaning up some of the hallways, sweeping shit to the side. Other stuff has been moved, like a crib and a piano.

What's going on here? This is worrisome.
We get through and head to the main building where we find a huge tree has fallen over in front of the building. Oh, hey, I have pictures.

Inside we set up the cameras and begin testing. I test my slider, and honestly, it's not great. I think you really need a heavier-duty tripod to use it on a tripod, and that's a problem because I'm not lugging my big tripod through the woods for this shoot.

Then we do some other tests I can't really go into without revealing stuff in my script. But hey, here's a pic that doesn't show much.

Then I pull out the road flares. See, I got some cool scenes in mind where my main guy is lighting up these flares and throwing them down the hall to illuminate it. So I got some cheap ones at Walmart--they only last 15 minutes apiece. Even the expensive ones only last 30 minutes, so how many shots am I gonna get done before that flare goes out?

The shots look cool as shit.

btw--look at my shirt. That's sweat. My entire shirt is sweated through. And my jeans get soaked with sweat, and I'm crouching a lot, so of course they fucking rip right down my crotch. Good times.

So I toss the flare to see what that looks like. The flare hits the ground and snuffs out immediately. I'm like...that's weird. They don't do that in the movies.

I light another flare, shoot some slow mo video with my brother which I'll eventually show you, and then we throw that flare. It goes out the second it touches the ground. So that shot is gonna have to be stitched together because whatever's burning in the flare just completely falls out when it hits the ground.

Also, more stupid kids came by and got freaked out by us. Always funny.

We're there until like 10pm, and finding our way back is tough. It's PITCH BLACK, and we have to find the entrance to the trail in the woods. We get a little lost, but then we find it, drag our asses back up the trail(it's up hill on the way back)--with me stopping three times. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack at one point.

We get back to the car and it's still there. I'm feeling very leery about trying to shoot 7-8 days at the asylum. Seems like it could be very tough to do.


Funny story. I go into my freelance job and the lady who owns the company comes to me and says "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" I follow her into her office where she shuts the door.

I'm thinking, "Uh oh..."

She says, "I don't think you're racist." I'm immediately like, "What the fuck is going on?"

She continues: "But in Tennessee at dinner, some things were said that got people upset." I can't think of what she's talking about, but then again after auctions we are brain dead and ready to drop. Then I remember what she's probably talking about.

At dinner, everybody's food was brought out except for Gerald's. He's a black guy from Jamaica that I've known for like ten years. I've joked with him in racist ways--he knows I don't mean it, and he laughs at them. So in this case I say, "Maybe this is a whites-only establishment."

Everybody at the table laughed, at least I thought they did. But two of the people at the table are people we don't usually hang around with.

Now, the head honcho continues: "Gerald was very upset. I talked to him about it, and he was embarrassed about it." And I'm way does this sound like Gerald at all. She asks me to go talk to Gerald. She's not saying I have to apologize but maybe it would be nice.

I can tell she's tapdancing. She knows she can't order me to do anything, because I'd quit. I really can't afford to, and they can't afford to lose me, so we're both in this game of "Let's not upset the other person". But fuck if they're going to tell me how to behave when I'm not on their dime.

Gerald isn't actually there, so I don't get to talk to him. But I hear that another person at the table got scolded for talking about tits, and also for wearing a hat. I don't remember a convo about tits, and I can't believe they'd try to tell him he can't wear a hat at a non-company dinner. But this is where I realized that it wasn't Gerald at was those other two people.

So life is gonna get pretty tough for those two people. They have to deal with me, not vice versa. Frankly, I've helped the lady of the duo out a couple of times, but that's done. Any favors she wants from me is gonna net her some harsh words. Nobody at the company other than the top dog even likes her.


Went to the carnival tonight. Took my new camera plus my new iphone that I still have. I only took my kit lens because I didn't want to carry around a bunch of stuff.

After shooting some of the same shots with each camera, I'm going to go on record as saying that the iphone shoots better STILLS than the A7III with a kit lens. Hands down. Like, if I spent enough time in lightroom or photoshop, the A7's are comparable...but the iphone needs no work.

Video is still nice on the iphone, but nowhere near the A7's.

My kid rides ALL the rides. He's fearless. I wouldn't go up on those things that flip over upside down and kidding? Also, whenever he's near a cute girl he tries to talk to her. He's terrible at talking though, so it never really goes very far even though they all seem to find him cute.

A group of two girls and one guy even invited him to go on rides with him. Unfortunately we didn't know that, so we beckoned him to come to us and he didn't tell us for five minutes that that's what happened. We're like, next time just tell them you need to tell us, and we'll let you go hang out with other kids.

Hell, we're dying for him to get real friends that he can hang out with. He spends too much time by himself. He's popular at school, and everyone stops and says hi to him(he saw like 5 people from his school at the carnival just tonight), but nobody invites him to hangout or go to birthday parties or anything.

Anyway, here's me and him about to get on the Scrambler. That's an iphone photo, yeah.

Man, his head looks big here. I got some video on the ferris wheel from both cameras. The iphone's is still impressive as shit.

As long as all you need to shoot are wides...

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Fun Little Story

Remember I mentioned that place where I was thinking about offering my freelance trailer editing skills?

So I went through the rigamarole of setting up the thing. It only lets me submit one video, then a couple of stills. I don't know how you demonstrate samples of your trailer editing skills with one video...

I put up the trailer I cut for that indie movie with L. Henriksen, and then put some posters of my movies to show I'm legit.

I submit it without making it "live"--it says the video is processing and will be approved within 24 hours.

Three weeks later, it still says the same thing when I check it. So I hit up the support staff to tell them they haven't approved my video, and some idiot says "Oh yeah, we did it, and by the way, you have to fix your gig. Your artwork isn't original."

Right off the bat he's lying, cuz they didn't approve my video until after I got his response.

I get pretty pissed off. I send this guy an email that says, "I own all the artwork. It's copyrighted to me. It shows I'm legit, and besides, I'm not selling poster-creation services, so it's not deceptive."

Same form-letter response except this time he says I can't use "random horror images" for my thing. So I reply with some choice words. No response that time. Then I get a note that they'll consider the ticket closed if I don't respond. I respond AGAIN. Next thing I know, my ticket is closed.

Now I'm REALLY pissed. So I open a new ticket and here's the actual message I sent them:

Hey, don't give me Josey as a customer service rep because he's an idiot who doesn't respond, then closes tickets without responding to emails. He makes your company look bad, which isn't that hard at this point.

I submitted a VIDEO CREATION gig over a month ago. I submitted a video of the work I would be doing, plus two images FROM MY MOVIES THAT I OWN to show that I'm legit. Weeks later the video gig hadn't been improved and still showed that the video might take up to 24 hours to be approved. 

I contacted customer service and the idiot Josey told me that "Thank you for highlighting this for us, we already reviewed the issue for you." This was a lie, as I'd re-logged in a couple of times that week and it still showed the video not approved.

Then he told me that I have to submit "Original" pictures. He claimed I can't just put "random horror movie" pictures up. AFTER I TOLD HIM THAT I OWNED THE IMAGES, and had WRITTEN AND DIRECTED AND EDITED the movies' pictures. Further, I'm not selling a poster-creation gig so it shouldn't even matter. If you let me submit more video samples of my work, then I wouldn't have to submit pictures at all. 

So either Josey doesn't speak English natively, or he's flat out retarded, in which case I compliment you on helping the special needs people of the nation, but could you please direct me to someone who isn't special needs? Also, he ignored my last two emails--I got no response, then a warning that the ticket would be closed if I didn't respond soon, so I immediately replied AGAIN--next thing I know the ticket is closed. No responses.

I get why you want these safeguards, but if you're going to have them in place then you have to do due diligence. Don't tell me my images are "random horror movie" images when you can literally CLICK ON IMDB, type in my name, and find out that I own those movies. 

You have a ton of foreign sellers on your site, and I've even seen some using posters that they didn't create to sell poster images. So how I'm being harassed for using images I own the copyrights's crazy...and I'm not selling poster images so nobody's being deceived. I'm an actual professional, and an American, which I'd think your site would want.

So can someone look into this--ACTUALLY look into it? If not, whatever. I'd fire Josey either way--he's crap.

Got a message from another customer service rep the next day saying simply "Your gig has been approved."

So there's that. Not sure when I'll actually offer it though. Kinda busy right now.

I think we're going to the asylum Monday night to see if we get arrested when we light the place up for a few hours. (or get killed by homeless people)



Also, the wife went to the beach with the kid until Wednesday. I'm on page 35 of the script, and I want you to SHAME ME like that Game of Thrones chick if I'm not on page 60 by Wednesday. I gotta pick up this pace if I'm going to have any shot at doing this come November.


Went for more drinks and fun with Malfi. Our conversations are fucking crazy, man. From fun stuff to deep writing stuff and more. Got a decent buzz and had some awesome crab dip.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Growing Tired Of Blogging

Dunno, may give this up. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm not blogging much. Every day seems pretty similar and depressing, so why keep reinforcing it by putting it here?

Anyway, saw Spidey with the kid. Was fun. Not as great as everyone says, but just what I want in a summer movie. And the best after-credit sequence they've ever had. Do yourself a favor and go in without reading about it, cuz it's amazing.

Then it turned out my lead actor from Ttory 2 and GOH was coming to town unexpectedly. I immediately try to organize so we can do that commentary and I can get these discs pressed so they're definitely done in time for the convention.

Cutting(the actor) comes down and my brother subs in for Zig who's out of town. We watch Brutal Massacre as a warm up--which is a great movie if you've ever been involved in making a low budget movie. Then we did GOH. I'm not sure how entertaining it is, cuz I'm barely buzzed.

Then on to Ttory 2. This one seems to have a bit more energy, at least from me, then about halfway through we hear some REALLY heaving breathing.'s snoring. Cutting has fallen asleep in the middle of the movie he's STARRING in, and it's all on the commentary.

I say "Cutting, are you snoring during the movie you're in?" and he's like "No, no." and then does it a couple more times.

It's priceless.

The next day I interviewed him for the Making of Ttory 2 that I'm slowly working on. I haven't gotten it all organized yet, so I'm not sure I asked him questions that I'll need answers to. All of my making of's are basically mini-documentaries, not fluff pieces like most studio movies make.

And to do that, there's a lot of work beforehand, figuring out what I have footage of, what do I want other people to talk about so I don't have to be the only person on the damn thing.


Couple days later finished up the dvds and the artwork. A couple of hours ago I uploaded them to the manufacturer, so now I just have to push the button and get them to work. (but I need some money to do so...)

Money is becoming a bad, bad time.

I'm actually combing the online wanted ads regarding editors and whatnot. Most of the jobs in this area are in SUCKY cities where I'm gonna be sitting in traffic for all day if I get the job, and most of the jobs want an editor/photographer/after effects/colorist and sometimes sound guy.

It's insane. I can do most of that, but they're not PAYING anywhere near what they need to. Hell, I saw one post that was paying $15 an hour. Are you fucking kidding me? To be a videographer and editor, and also do some after effects work?

Saturday, June 29, 2019


I mentioned that I want to make a limited DVD for GOH and T2, right?

Well I've been killing myself trying to get a date where #1) My wife and kid are out of town at the same time as #2) Cutting can come down from CT and Zig can come.

It's not going to happen. So I'd sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'd have Cutting and my brother Mike come over on July 26th. However, that's not a lot of time for me to make sure the DVDs are authored and working, uploaded to the duplicator, and completed in time for the convention the first week of Sept.

Find out Cutting is coming to town this Tuesday, so I scramble. Zig still can't do it, so I got Mike to do it even though he's busy moving out of his temporary residence since they're rebuilding house after the fire.

(they haven't finished his old house, but even if they had, he's not moving back in--him and his gf are moving back in with my mom until their rebuilt place sells, then moving elsewhere. There's talk of Delaware, and I can assure you that if he moves there, I'm done making films as he's pretty much the only guy I can count on to show up and help)

So the plan is to get the commentaries done on Tuesday night. I'll bust my ass to finish these dvds--most of the authoring is done, but still have some graphics to finish--then upload that shit. That'll be one thing off my plate.


Work still continues on the script I'm still considering shooting in October, or maybe November. Cutting REALLY wants to do this. I've told him a little bit about the character he'd be playing and he's dying to do it. The character, named Walter, is pretty great.

I've ironed out a couple of things that were nagging me regarding the plot.

But most of me REALLY doesn't want to shoot it. Why? Besides how much work it'll be to find actors and an FX guy who will work for next to nothing, there's the actual WORK WORK involved.

I'm already dreading the trek in to the location carrying tons of equipment. Then even worse will be the trek out everyday after we're all dead tired from shooting for 10-13 hours.


Something I'm considering...maybe offering my services as a trailer editor on one of those freelance services like one that rhymes with diverr. I wouldn't be THAT cheap(like $400-$600 for a trailer, which is cheap for that kind of work, but not compared to much of the stuff on their site)--but they actually have a section for professionals where THEY have to approve you.

I'm sure I'd get approved--it's pretty clear I'm legit. I'm just trying to decide whether it's worth the hassle. They're pretty customer oriented, even if the customer is wrong so I'm worried that if I go take all this time, make a good trailer, but the person says "I don't like it", the company will refund their money--and the person still gets to keep and use my trailer if they want.

That might make me finally snap and go kill a lot of people.

But I could use the money for sure. I'm rapidly coming to a point where I'm gonna run short every month on my car payment and whatnot, unless I start making some money elsewhere. A-zon ain't cutting it--I tend to get a check for between $100-$300 a month for EVERYTHING I've got there, movies and books. It's nice, being passive income, but it's not enough to bridge the gap between what I make on the auction gigs(which are only about 4 days a month).


Got my tix for the new Spidey movie on Monday night. Since my kid is going to the beach with my wife on Tuesday, I gotta make sure we get to see it before he goes away. Haven't seen a single trailer, so I'm looking forward to it.

That kid really is probably the most perfect high school Spidey we've ever had in TV or movies.

Anyway, that's the skinny on what's been going on lately.

Friday, June 21, 2019


I don't make a secret that I eat a pot brownie every night before I go to sleep, do I?

Well, it takes a while to kick in so I work and stuff while it hits.

It hit the other night, but I kept working. And getting higher and higher. Finally went upstairs to brush my teeth and go to bed.

I do that, then take a look at my chin to see if I can see this ingrown hair that's been bugging me. Nope, but then I stare into my eyes...

...transfixed...but I get the feeling that that guy in the mirror who looks just like me...IS NOT ME.

And I don't want to blink because I'm afraid that if I do, he WON'T blink, and then he'll know that I know that he's not me.

I don't know how long I stood there with my eyes open. But eventually I slid out of the bathroom without looking away, turning the light off.

And then went to bed and slept like a goddamn baby.

Monday, June 10, 2019

There's Too Much TV

Spending way too much time watching TV. Shows I'm enjoying:

In The Dark - Some CW show about a blind girl. Surprisingly good.
Doom Patrol - I'm 3 episodes into this quirky show, and it's entertain AF.
Barry - Just started this. Had heard it was good, and yeah, it is. Henry Winkler is amazingly funny.
Cobra Kai season 2 was just as good as season 1
Naked and Afraid is as good as always. Love this show.
Brooklyn 99 is another show that makes me smile a lot. Sure, I'm high most of the time, but whatever, man.
Billions - New season is turning out to be another winner.
Love Island - started again. The wife and I dig this show a lot. Stupid TV, but so fun.
Deadwood Movie - Man, it's amazing to see how these guys took a 10 year break and then came back and killed it. My only gripe is that it didn't feel like it had a real ending...but does that mean they hope to do another movie? Please do.

Watched Waterworld with my kid. He enjoyed it. I forgot the awkward moments in the movie--like when a hot Jeanne Triplehorn drops her dress and offers sex to Kevin Costner. Then later Costner sells her like a whore to a passing boater.

Also took him to see the new Godzilla. It's not a great movie, per se, but it's a lot of fun. Exactly why I go to the theater in the summer.


Writing continues on the new script. May have broken a plot point that had me stymied. Still feels like it'll be such a huge undertaking to shoot for so cheap that I shouldn't attempt it.


Went out and shot some more photos with my brother. Set up this new free phone with its camera to see how it would look side by side, and's scary. On the wide shot it's almost identical, possibly better straight out of phone, ungraded, than the real camera.

Sure, the issue still remains that you can't zoom well with it, and you can't change lenses--adapters aren't lenses--and it's dogshit in low light. So I'm not planning on shooting any movies with it but they are definitely making huge strides.

For the record, it will record all of these formats:
720P HD at 30fps
1080 HD at 30fps
1080p HD at 60fps
4K at 24 and 30 and 60 fps
Slow mo speeds:
1080P at 120fps(HOLY SHIT!)
720P at 240fps(WHAT?)
1080P HD at 240fps(Crazy)

This is an uncolorcorrected shot with the camera. I have others but for some reason my computer doesn't recognize the phone, even if I tell the phone to trust it. So I'm having to dropbox all these files from my phone, and for some reason it's taking forever even if I'm sitting right next to the router.

Friday, May 31, 2019

Little News

Work has begun on The Making of Ttory 2. So be warned if you're cast or crew, I'm prolly gonna be interviewing you soon.

Not sure how long it'll take. Right now I'm just getting PTSD from watching and organizing photos and video I think I might need.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Busy Weeks

Two weekends ago, a buddy had a little get-together shindig cuz he and the gf went to the courthouse and got married a few weeks back. Had a good time, got a little too buzzed. Wasn't driving, so no big deal.

Then during the week...hell, can't even remember. The wife left on Friday morning with the kid for the Memorial Day weekend with her parents. So, vacation for me. Figured I'd hang out at the house all weekend...

But then Saturday night we ended up going to a buddy's house to watch a local low budget flick with actors we know. It wasn't bad.

Had a buddy call me that day to tell me he was having people over on Sunday, could I make it? This is my oldest friend--met him in 3rd grade. Haven't seen him in a couple of years, so I'm like "Count me in."

I head to his house, which he recently bought. I hadn't seen it yet. It's in Edgewater. And holy shit is it HUGE. And on the water. I find out it cost him about 1.2 million. Apparently the company he worked for and had equity in had sold, and he'd made some decent money.

But hey--if I wanna shoot a movie in it, he's like "Any time!"

There was a good crowd, but toward the end they all thinned out so we got a chance to chat for a while.

Man, I had some more stuff to say but the high is really starting to set in...sorry

Friday, May 17, 2019

Well this is crazy...

Woke up the other afternoon, came out and found two identical boxes in my living room. I ask the wife what they were. She's like, no idea, they were on our porch.

They're both addressed to me, with my name properly spelled. Why is that important? Most of the time I order shit, I misspell my name. Different ways. That way if I start getting bullshit mail, I know who sold my info.

So the fact that this stuff has my real name and info on it...strange. At first I just assumed I'd ordered some from A-zon and forgotten.

I open the first box. It's an iphone 8. I'm like...uh, what? Says it's refurbished, but looks new.

I open the 2nd box. It's a iphone XMS. This one is completely sealed, brand new.

The packing slip says it's from the phone company that rhymes with lint. Which is weird, cuz I have V-zon.

I didn't order these. My wife didn't order these. None of my other relatives did either. There's some warehouse information and shit on the slip, but nothing else except...a web site.

First I check to see if anyone has billed me on my credit cards. Would be a weird scam, but who knows? Nope, nothing there.

I check the web site. It goes to a site where the company I named above that rhymes with lint--they apparently find high school kids who don't have internet and they literally GIVE them a free phone, and pay for their service for the kid the entire time they're in high school. They get 3 gigs of data per month at 4G speeds--if you go over that, it's still free but it's 3G for the rest of the month.

Cool program, but the thing kid has internet. He also has a phone already. Also, they sent us two phones and I have one kid. So what the fuck?

After a day I decide to turn on the iphone 8. I set it up for my wife-- I tell her she can just use it for other stuff, any non-call stuff. I can put that app on that texts people for free as long as you're on wi-fi. You can also make calls on wi-fi with it. Hell, she can use it for pictures and shit too, since she's always filling up her phone.

I try to make a call with the phone, expecting to hear it say something about setting up an account or something, but the fucking phone works. The call goes through from some number I've never seen. So...who's paying for this?

I do the same with the iphone XMS, which is noticeably larger than my old phone, the 5. Set it up, make a call. It goes through also, with another phone number.

I guess the bottom line is that we have two new free phones, with no bill. Do I ditch my old phone? There was a note that said if we wanted to transfer an existing number, we can...but that sort of ties me into this phone, right?

Also, we'd be on that other company's service, which I hear isn't great...but free is free...

Not sure what we're going to do at this point. But it's kind of cool.


Went out for drinks with the Malf. Lot of good discussions again. Interesting writing discussions.

Also, his 9 year old daughter has written a script. He has no idea where she learned how. He's going to help her film it, and wants to know if my son would have any interest in doing music for it.

Obviously, that's a yes. So I tell him--fuck it, if we're gonna do, let's do it right. Let me know when and I'll come over and shoot it for him, edit it if he wants. Should be fun either way.

I sent him the first 24 pages of the book I'm working on. Just to get an idea of whether I'm on the right track, or if he has any suggestions. He's almost done his new book, so I'll get to read that soon.

We're going to try to go ahead soon on that music video for him. And I think he's starting to get on board with my new script that I was talking about shooting. When I first mentioned it to him, he was sort of against it, but I think I've told him some of the more interesting stuff I've got planned in the story, so he seems to be more into now.

Friday, May 10, 2019

Drivers Suck

Holy shit man, what is it with drivers nowadays? This morning was insane, and it was only like 7am.

People running red lights to make a turn at the last minute. People pulling out in front of me(running the stop sign) even though I'm coming fast, then they decide they'd like to drive the 30mph speed limit. People not using their turn signal when I'm right behind them.

It's REALLY fucking dangerous in this day and age of shootings to be doing shit like that. I'm being completely serious when I say that if someone does that shit to somebody, and they get shot over it, I'm perfectly fine with that. Put me on that jury--not guilty.

It gets more and more clear every day that there are too many people on this planet. It wouldn't be a problem except that the overwhelming majority are fucking trash. Self-involved, selfish to extremes, greedy, non-empathetic shits.

Fuck, am I tired of humanity.


The all-knowing G(that company that spies on everything we do) has recently decided this blog doesn't fit with their ad campaigns. They suspended my ad account, so I guess that's $20 a year I'll be out on.


Went out and shot some more pics and video. Got some decent stuff, but nothing amazing. Still figuring a lot of stuff out. This camera's pretty complicated. So many options, but I guess that's a good thing.

Still working on the script, slowly but surely. No news still on the location.

Not a lot to report otherwise.

I know, my blog's just sucking the big one lately, right?

Monday, April 29, 2019

Time Crunches / Never Enough Money

April's almost gone. I still have no idea whether I'm going to shoot something this year or not. My choices are as follows:
1) The action horror I've paused writing until I can see the locations I know we're gonna film in. Still waiting to hear from my buddy the cop about the other location. If he can come through, then perhaps I'll give it a try. I don't think I can do it for $2K, so perhaps I'll try to crowdfund a little--if I can get an additional $2K then it looks much more doable, though still a massive amount of work for me.

2) A Ttory short. I thought about this the other day. I'm guessing--though it's mostly pure guesswork--that not everybody finishes the Ttory movies. Either they're just not their cup of tea or they don't like no-budget movies or whatever. But we win on A-zon because SO many people watch some of the movie.
           So if I make a short, perhaps I still have a shot of making similar money, and a short won't cost anywhere near what the whole flick makes. I'm not saying ALL shorts could do this, but Ttory does have some traction. Both movies did pretty well. And more importantly, I have an idea for one that I kind of like. That's always the most important thing for me--if I'm not significantly interested in the story, I'm not gonna do it--no way am I killing myself over something I'm like "It's okay."


Now, money's always an issue. I'm not like most other no-budget filmmakers in that I don't have a regular job. I work maybe four or five days a month, plus have a bunch of shit up on eBay, plus A-zon pays me for the books and movies.

That pays my bills, in general. Doesn't leave much left over to go do other stuff.

And here's what I have to budget for right now:
Reserve a hotel at the STC show for one night. Just to go drinking with the buddy, plus JBob is gonna be there. Would be cool to meet him ahead of the other convention where we'll both be guests.
Reserve a hotel for the other convention where I'll be a guest. Get two dvds made--the GOH and Ttory 2 to have at that convention.
Get money together so I have $2K to spend on the new flick or short. (cut that in half if it's the short)
Buy some more gear for the camera I'm gonna be shooting the flick on. (the A7III)

See, I learned something new this week that I didn't know regarding digital cameras. I shot with the new camera on one of my freelance gigs, and got a little bit more grain at ISO 4000 than I thought I'd have. I mean, this camera goes to nearly 60,000 ISO before it even starts going extended. I've seen videos that show this thing in the 20,000 range with minimal grain. So why do I have grain?

Turns out, grain will be more prominent the worse your lens is. This is something I've never heard of in my years of shooting digital.

I was using my shitty telephoto lens on it, so I'll have to be careful that I'm using nice glass when shooting high ISO--which will be most of this movie either way. So definitely gotta rent some glass, plus test my brother's Canon lenses on it to see what they look like. Problem is, if I wanna use them AND the amazing autofocus on this camera then I'll have to get the more expensive lens adapter than I have. That's another $300 or so dollars right there.

Need a lot more testing. We went out the other night and shot some night stuff. Didn't get much I liked other than these two images:

I'm a little embarrassed to say how many shots it took me to get those road lines in the center of the shot. They were always SLIGHTLY off, and it was so dark. That's also the moon coming up in the bg, not the sun. I tried to color correct some of the color out of it, but that's actually the color it was so...

Time continues to accelerate every year...seems like each year just flies by worse than the year before...

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Sucky Taxes

Went to the local premiere. Was fun. The script was a little so-so, but I think some people will enjoy it--it's more of an all-ages western than I like. Cool seeing a lot of people I know, in the movie and at the theater.

Chatted with a couple of the actors I'd be using if I do this thing in October.

That script is coming slow. Still don't know about the locations.

I think my brother and I are going to go to the asylum at dusk, and hang out for hours at night. Light the place up and see if the guards come and bust us. Better for the two of us to get arrested than a crew of people, right?

I can do some tests while we're there. But I bet that place is gonna be pretty scary at night, because it's not exactly Disneyland during the day.


Did the taxes. I was curious what it would be like with the new tax laws. You know, the media's telling you that everyone is going to pay a million dollars more, etc.

I'm not one to believe the BS the media--either side--is pimping. I'd heard from other friends who had done their taxes, and it seemed pretty evenly split between people who said they paid more and those who said they paid less.

Well, my taxes aren't definitive because I made less this year than last, but when I analyzed the numbers we did indeed pay less as a percentage of our income than we did last year. It wasn't a staggering amount--about 4%--and part of that can be explained away as some of our income last year went into the next highest tax bracket, but didn't this year.

The long and the short of it is that I"m broke again. I don't pay the estimated tax I'm supposed to, since the penalty isn't that much and most of the time I'm not sitting on extra cash.

The tax form was a lot more complicated this year, I can tell you that. I had to answer a lot more questions about my home business than last year, and some of the deductions I got to take last year aren't available.

Oh well, at least it's done. What a fucking waste of time every year.

Tuesday, April 09, 2019

More Nothing

Because Stewie asked about it, here's what we did about the bathroom. I ordered this--it's free shipping as long as you pick up at a H Depot.

It comes in 4 pieces. You should buy a couple of tubes of "Loc Tite Power Grab for Tub Surrounds". If we hadn't had to replace the entire faucet assembly it would be a one-day job. (the only slightly complicated part is that you need to cut holes in the side for your faucet, so you need a special drill end to do that, but if you're Stewie you could borrow it from my dad)

Here's some pics of how it looks, which I honestly couldn't care less about. The wife is going to add some trim the the edges because once you put it on OVER the tiles(which we did because it's easiest), there's a small gap at the outside edges of the tub. It's purely a cosmetic thing.

My bathroom is pretty small so I can't take a great shot of the whole thing, but the wife seems to like it and --most importantly--it doesn't leak at all, so my downstairs office is safe again.


Busy week. Saw Shazam. DC finally gets it right.

Got an auction to work tomorrow night, but really need to get my tire plugged. (been driving around with a screw in it for three weeks)

Thursday night is a local premiere for a buddy's Western I'm going to try to make. Friday is my bro's surprise bday party, for which I was asked to do one of those video slideshows I hate doing. This one wasn't so bad because I put in all the music we both like. The funny part is that I didn't realize they were having this party in a church, so I hope the church enjoys some Depeche Mode, Kix, Duran Duran and more.

Did I mention that we have an auction in Jersey the beginning of next month? Jesus. Kill me now.

Sunday, April 07, 2019

The Ride Along

On the way to the ride along I started to get a scratchy throat. I'm thinking, what the fuck? Hope I'm not getting sick.

Got to the station and Dan(my cop buddy) and I got right out on the road. He showed me the Event Log on his car laptop--totally cracks me up to watch the cops speed down the road while trying to read their laptop...

The Event Log, what I think he called the EVL even though it should clearly be the EL, puts up shortened, one line descriptions of all the 911 calls they get. Like one was DOMWM with some other letters to denote a Domestic by a white male.

The strange part is that there's line after line of this, but can he just arrow down and then hit enter to reveal more details? NOPE.

He's gotta memorize the 4 digit code at the beginning of the line, say 1489 and clear the screen, then type EVD(Event Details) with the 4 digit code, and it all comes up.

I'm like, seriously? How have they not fixed that? He's supposed to do this shit WHILE he's driving...
(the laptops are Panasonics using Windows 7, in case you wanted to know)

We drove around for a bit, but it was quiet. So our first stop was actually Chik Fil A where he bought me dinner. Then we went back out. There was a call of a large crowd fighting and one person supposedly had a gun, so he put the lights and sirens on, and we BLAZED. It's quite a rush driving that fast, ignoring all traffic laws.

We get there and there's already like six cop cars there, a lot of people screaming at each other, screaming at the police who are trying to calm them down. Nobody seems to know the story, and Dan's kind of pissed because the scene isn't being run the way he'd run it. One lady keeps screaming shit, and they have the guy who allegedly hit a woman, then went and got a gun.

But nobody can find the gun. We stayed there for like 30 minutes, but nothing to be done, so we took off.

I wish I could tell you some exciting stories, but Dan said I was apparently good luck. He said the Event Log normally showed like 4 or 5 PAGES of calls. At one point he showed me the screen and there was only TWO calls on the whole thing.

There was a call of a 14 year old "out of control"--the mom called. So we head there, and there's already five police cars waiting. Bored cops out front. Basically, any call and everybody was going because they're all so bored.

We go inside. Six cops and me, all staring at this fourteen year old girl who's crying on the stairs. Her mother who made the call outweighs her by like 100 pounds. I'm thinking, "WTF? Discipline your child. Why are you calling the police?"

But it turns out the fourteen year old was acting out because her mother had told her to clean her room--which she did--but then it turned 8 o'clock and she was still cleaning her room, and the mom told her to take a shower. The girl had said she wanted to finish cleaning her room, but the mom wanted her to TAKE A SHOWER AT 8 O'CLOCK.

So all of a sudden I just wanna shoot the mom.

The lead cop on the call gave a stern talking to the daughter, but I was on her side.

We left that call. Not much else happened. Dan showed me around the old police station, which they only use for training now. I was like, Fuck, this would be perfect for a set...

He told me this story, which was cool:
Few years back when the Ravens were in the playoffs, they had a party at the station. One side of the glass was food and a TV, other side was the desk where they'd lead people to their holding cells. Dan was working the desk.

Other cop brings in a big guy, starts filling out the paperwork. Dan leads the big guy back to his cell, but then it occurs to him that the big guy hasn't said anything and hasn't opened his mouth. Dan asks him, "Got anything in your mouth?" Guy shakes his head.

Dan says "Open your mouth". Guy barely does it. Dan says to stick out his tongue, and he barely does that. Clearly he has drugs in his mouth. Dan says "Open your mouth all the way."

The guy PUNCHES Dan in the face. Dan said he stumbled back, dazed, but got his wits back. Said he grabbed him by the head and started kneeing him in the face jujitsu style. But the guy shoved him off. Dan's trying to call for help, but the cops on the other side of the glass can't hear him and they're watching the football game.

Dan said he tried to knee the guy in the head again but missed, and put his knee through a support pole, left a big circular mark. The guy got a hold of him but Dan scrambled away, falling and hitting his head on the door frame, and he started bleeding. Finally the other cops saw, and came running, but there were napkins on the floor and the first one slipped and fell, and others fell on top.

He said it looked like the Keystone Cops or something.

Once they got him under control, the other cops thought the guy had put Dan's head through the support post because they saw his bloody forehead and the hole in the post.


We also went to a park after dark. Dan said maybe we'd see some girls giving BJ's--said it happens all the time even though the park is closed after dark. The guy who's supposed to close the gates always forgets.

Nobody there, but Dan told me another story...

He came out there one night and saw a car. He got out and walked down, came up to the passenger's side and could see it was a girl blowing the driver. Dan cleared his throat loudly, and she jumped up, but the guy couldn't stop and blew his load all over himself and her.

Dan told her to get out of the car. He's like "What's going on?" She said, "I didn't want to, but he said he'd give me percocets to blow him!" Dan asks, "How old are you?" She tells him "Fourteen."

So Dan gets the guy out. "How old are you?" asked Dan. "Thirty one" says the guy. Dan tells him he's going to jail. Had to take him in with cum all over his shirt and stuff. Said it was disgusting.


Anyway, Dan says I have to come back out on another night. He apologized, as if he has any control over what crime happens.

The next day I wake up with a vicious cold. Stuffy nose and lungs, scratchy throat. Hope I didn't give it to Dan.

It's been keeping me down for the past couple of days.

Am trying to get some things brewing. Writing a bit, thinking about a lot of stuff. My concentration is a bit off, all over the place.

Tuesday, April 02, 2019

Nothing New To Report But...

I thought I'd add a little brightness to my day and yours with these pictures. Remember when she was the hottest woman ever? No? Then I pity you.

I'm going on a ride along tonight with a cop buddy, so if I get killed, hey...good deal.

Been probably 15 years since I went on one. Had fun on the first one, so hopefully we see some crazy shit.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Growing Bored

The blogging has slowed down quite a bit. I mean, let's be real--nobody, myself included, thought this blog would go six months, much less the FIFTEEN years I've kept it running. (March 11th was actually 15 years since my first post in 2005)

But I don't know that I have anything to say right now. I could tell ya the boring things going on right now, but if it bores me then it's gonna bore you, so why bother?

Go ahead anyway? Okay.

Got back from a work trip to Naples Florida. It went okay. The flights were pretty rough, especially the take off from BWI. Probably the roughest I've ever been on. It was windy out, so I guess he was fighting that, but the planes wings were waggling quite a bit as we climbed into the sky, and it's always very easy for me to picture one of these winds flipping the plane upside down...

Been catching up on a lot of TV. Counterpart season 2(its last) was pretty good. Umbrella Academy didn't hook me in the first episode, but got better after that. I'm almost done the season.

Watched the new season of Arrested Development. Still makes me laugh, but it's obviously not very good on the whole.

Started Love Death Robots. The first three are very strong, then it becomes hit or miss. Definitely feels like the bastard son of Heavy Metal.

Watching a fuck-ton of reality TV. The wife and I love the dumpster-fire that is Temptation Island. This one lady takes her boyfriend of five years there to test him, knowing he's cheated on her before, so it's pretty hysterical to watch him bang one of the other women while the lady's like, "Why did I bring us here?"

Love the Border Security shows on Netflix. Heavy Wrecks or something is interesting to have on when I'm working, as is the Forensic Files(which I watch for hours on end).


Did I mention I got a new camera? It's very nice. Just started doing some testing with it. Going to take some time to get used to all the options.

Am still writing "that" script, but it's pretty hard because I'm pretty sure we won't be able to shoot at night at the asylum, at least not more than maybe once. My buddy may have a lead on someplace comparable, but until I can get in there and look around, I can't write location-specific scenes.


Got out with the Malf before I went to Florida. For once I got to see him get a little too drunk--most of the time that guy downs a FUCKTON of drink and you can't tell. He was hitting the whiskey sours though, so I guess they got to him.

He's at some weird crossroads I won't go into. But one of his books is currently being pitched by a pretty good producer to Fox, and he's read the script and says it's very good. In some places, better than his book, he said.

He's leery of the script I'm writing, because he knows the cynical mindset I'm writing it to. He doesn't think I should sacrifice story just because people don't seem to respect it, but I've done it the other way and gotten nothing for it, so why not pander a bit?

As long as there are things in the script I like a lot, it's not like I'm phoning it in. I'm listening to the market and what the market respects, and I'm trying to give it what it wants. For a very small, small budget...

Will it happen? I sort of doubt it at this point, but who knows?

Monday, March 11, 2019

Home Owning SUCKS

I live in an old house. Everything's in pretty rough shape, and not like we have the money to fix most of it.

Anyway, our bathroom--yes, we only have one, and I can't tell you how much THAT sucks--has had a shower that leaks sometimes. I'm sure it's the grout between the tiles. I'd done it a few years after we moved in, but that was 20 years ago.

I don't want to do it again. I looked into the whole bath f**ters thing(name censored so they don't spam me), but found that you can actually buy your own walls and put them up yourself. Then you only have like 4 seams, and the bottom to seal. It only costs about $400.

I was like, let's do that. Because the other bigger issue is that the water, when it leaks, runs down into my TV room/editing studio. I have too much valuable shit there to risk getting water damaged.

I call my dad to see what he thinks. He says it looks good, but that we should replace the shower handles while we're at it. I immediately think, "Fuck, this is gonna turn my one-day job into a two -day job."

In my dad's defense, the shower handles DO need replacing.  They're dogshit--a separate hot and cold, and I've had to replace them sometimes because the o-rings inside go bad frequently.

So I say fuck it, let's do it.

Saturday we began. I have to run outside to the front yard to cut off water to the house because the inside cutoff valve is bad, and I don't want to fuck with it. It may not close right if I open it.

Then we cut off the pipes and start trying to get this new one-handle system in. It's tough going. My dad is soldering all the joints and connections, but every time I turn the water back on we get a leak.

We spend all day Saturday trying to fix all the leaks. Nope. All day Sunday, same thing. We get MOST of them stopped, but we put a new seal on a couple that takes time to dry so we can't put the water back on. So we put up half the walls in the bathtub. That wasn't too hard.

Sunday night I run to my in-laws to shower.

So now Monday, third day, and I'm tired from getting about 4 hours of sleep per night. We start work at 9am. Nothing's leaking when I turn the water on. Great!

But then we have to put the spigot on so we can try the shower, and when we do that, the pipe up to the shower head is leaking.

My dad keeps trying to solder this one joint--the solder has to go UP, which is the issue, and we can't see the back of the pipe because it's up against the wall. Every time he does it, I have to run out, turn on the water(which is two feet in a hole, and has to be cranked with all my might), then turn it off(we're just clearing the line), then wait for him to put the front assembly back together(we can't solder with it in, because the pipes get HOT and it's made of plastic), and then I have to run back out and turn the water back on.

It keeps leaking. We do this--I shit you not--at least 10 times. I'm getting pissed.

I know, this fucking story is riveting, but I want it down so I know when it was in case I gotta come back and check.

Hours and hours later we finally get it sealed. We have to put up the wall where the faucet is--gotta cut the holes in the wall where the handle and the faucet come out. My dad has the circular cutter bit that goes on his drill.

I hold the wall while he places the drill and pulls the trigger, and before I can react the bit jumps and comes my way and PAIN. The bit hit my hand. All things considered it could be worse. It looks like this:

It knicked 3 of my fingers, but that 2nd one is the one that got the brunt.

Anyway, got it all done, walls up by 7pm. I still have to put sealant in the seams and the base of the walls, and put the shower curtain rod back up(it has to go higher because of these walls).

Then we'll have to replace some dry wall because I ripped a bunch out to make the job easier, after we'd fucked around with that section for an hour.

So I'm dead tired, my body hurts, I have numb toes on my left foot(will tell ya about it later).

Fuck, dude.

Monday, March 04, 2019

My Name Is Kevin...and I'm A Filmmaker

Wonder Woman and the Bionic

I clearly can't stop. I've been sober -- I mean, filmmaking-free, for about 6 months.

As I've said, I still was thinking about maybe doing something else. Well, I bought a new camera. And a slider. And am looking at lenses, and some other things.

Man, this is clearly a problem, right?

I don't have the money for this stuff. Hell, I'm still in the hole around $3500 on the last film, and A-zon just lowered our payments AGAIN. (see the indie blog for that shit)

So anyway, work continues on the script. It's REALLY hard for me to stay minimal on story. I LOVE reveals in movies, as it typically gives me something to write toward.

But on this one I'm staying away from that stuff. This one's gonna be very light on plot with some cool kills. I've thought up some cool kills, but I have NO idea how to do them for nearly no money.

I'm also trying to figure out whether my main character is a good guy or a bad guy, deep inside. He's clearly very mercenary, but just HOW mercenary is something I have to figure.

And hey, more good news! That place I was thinking about illegally shooting at? There was a fire there last week, so there's gonna be more security now for sure. I'm thinking about maybe shooting there one or two day/nights, and seeing if I can find another location to shoot at for most of the interiors.

I wanna shoot this thing in 7 days. I'm aiming for a 75 page script, which will mean about 11 page days, which wouldn't be tough except there's a lot of FX.

Is it gonna happen? Not sure at this point.


My mother-in-law called me in a panic. I could hear a computer-voice speaking in the background.

She said that microsoft had locked her out of the computer, and there was now an 800 number to call. I told her it was BS, and that I'd be over in a second. (she only live 2 miles away)

Went over. Apparently she was on MSN's news page. She's not sure if she clicked on something, or whether this window just popped out, but either way, it was this big scary window with a repeating voice telling her that her computer was hacked, and she needed to call microsoft at the number they give.

I control-alt-deleted and shut Chrome down. It all went away. I scanned her hard drive--she has no viruses or malware on the laptop. She has ad block.

I looked it up. Apparently MSN and even Yahoo news are running ads with malware. (go ahead, google it)

Fun fun. My mother in law wants to know what web site she can go to for news that's not gonna have this issue, and I'm like, "No idea..."

Saturday, February 23, 2019


Woke up to a great review for Ttory 2. That's pretty cool.

So the wife is still healing. Can't move her neck much, so she hasn't been back to work. They've only sent her one disability check, which is bullshit for how much time she's been out.

On top of that, her cousin who is around 60 years old, is a bit of a disaster. She's been having health issues for a year or so. They thought she had a stroke at one point, but turns out that she's diabetic and not doing anything about it, so when her blood sugar gets low, she starts babbling and can't move her jaw to talk right.

Well, the doctors put her on medication and told her to prick herself to check her blood sugar. Her brother and his wife tried to get her organized with pill boxes with days of the week and all that, but...

My wife went to pick her up the other day and she hadn't come out. Like 15 minutes later she comes shuffling toward my wife's car, her sweater all wrapped around her weirdly so her arms are trapped. She can't talk and can barely walk. My wife takes her to the emergency room where they say it's not a stroke still, it's her low blood sugar and high blood pressure.

My wife is pissed. Her cousin is a grown-ass woman, and my wife already has HER parents to take care of. Her cousin isn't following directions, isn't keeping her medications organized. They went into her apartment to get her some stuff, and apparently it looks like a tornado went through there, and smells like piss.

So my wife is feeling angry and guilty at the same time, because she can't care for her cousin, on top of her aging parents and her autistic son. (luckily, I'm super self-sufficient so there's no taking care of me. I know where Burger King is...)

Once they sent her cousin home, my wife didn't talk to her for a couple of days to try to get the importance of self-sufficiency through. Her cousin calls to talk to her MULTIPLE times a day, so she knew something was wrong.

Hopefully she gets the hint.

Working on the Roku channel thing. I have a working copy up there, and if you knew the vanity code then you could check it out. But there's nothing streaming yet.

That's the biggest rub. YOU have to host your movies somewhere. Roku is just the portal to your films. The big question is, how many people are going to stream your movies? Is the ad-revenue you make going to be enough to pay for the hosting, wherever you end up hosting it?

On top, because you're paying per gig of streaming, I have to make the movies as small as possible, yet not sacrifice all the quality. So I'm trying to make each movie under 1gig in size, which is tough without going through multiple compressions.


Also trying to finish up the artwork for the dvds of GOH and Ttory2. And writing that script for something I feel like I'm not up to shooting at a location that will probably get us all arrested, if we don't die of asbestos poisoning, or homeless people/the ghosts of former sanitarium patients who died horribly in the location killing us.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

I Died Last Week

Last week my brother and I returned to the abandoned asylum for some more pics and stuff. You can read the details here with pics:

While I was there I started to get a cough, and since asbestos is a real issue here, I thought maybe I'd inhaled some bad stuff.

Then I find out my brother gets super sick the next day, and then I follow suit. It's the flu, or something like it. Super body aches, very weak, and at one point I'm so cold I can't stop shaking. (even though I'm in a warm room with the warmest blanket known to man). Had to get in a hot bath just to warm up.

Was a bad, bad two days. I'm still recuperating, and it's been a week.


There's a convention coming near us in September, and Joe Bob's gonna be there. If you don't know who he is, he's a legend. But more importantly, he reviewed my first movie and gave it four out of four stars, and said a bunch of nice stuff about it.

Over the years we've emailed each other, and recently he reached out to me to ask where he could see my other movies. So I mailed a bunch of them to him.

And now it looks like he's coming to town? I want to meet the guy. I reached out to the guy putting it on to see if he wants me as a guest. Come on, who doesn't? He gets back to me fast and is like, "Yeah, for sure." And he suggests if I have any "monsters" from my movies, let him know and he'll add him to the list.

That gets me thinking. Shivers himself has moved back to the states. He hasn't done a show since that Fango show we did back in 2006-ish. So I reach out to him. Turns out the show's not far from him, so he's cool for it.

I guess that means I'm doing a show with him this year.

That means I gotta have some new stuff at the show. I guess I'm going forward with that GOH DVD. I won't get that many printed up.  And I figure I'll do a super-small pressing of Ttory 2 also.

More work for me to do now...

Saturday, February 02, 2019

Wait...good news? Do I Need To Make Another Blog For That?

If you haven't read the blog post before this, you should go read that one first.

Went in for the surgery last week. It was a long day--since she had to be up there at 5:30am, I just didn't go to sleep. Got there--the place was packed, which is crazy that early in the morning--and they took her back to get prepped.

About an hour later they came and got me(and a friend of my wife's who'd come up) to see her in the bed before the surgery.

The doctors came back(the surgeon and the plastic surgeon), and spoke to us. The anesthesiologist  gave her a little something "to relax her", and it must have been pretty great stuff, cuz she was giggly as shit.

Then boom--they took her away. My brother showed up, so I went to the cafe downstairs and had some breakfast. (they sell breakfast food by the pound's very weird)

A few hours later they called us and said the surgery was done, and the plastic surgeon was taking over to close it up. They'd talked about a skin graft, but he was going to try it without that. Said it would leave a big scar, but if they did the skin graft then the skin there would be a different color and be more noticeable.

Fast forward quite a few hours later. She took about two hours to come out of the anesthesia. She was woozy, but we could take her home. They wheeled her out to my car, and we went home. They had to wrap bandages around her head and neck to keep the bandage on, so she looked a bit like the mummy.

We were told we'd need to wait a week to find out the results on the lymph node and the surrounding tissue. They cut a certain amount of "clean" skin around the cancerous area to ensure they've gotten it, but sometimes it's there even if you can't see it.

Wednesday they called and gave us the good news. Lymph node is clean, and the surrounding skin is clean. They can't guarantee it hasn't spread, so we're not gonna get all crazy happy about it. (my wife's bf from way back who died of skin cancer got the same exact results, and was dead six months later)

But, as I told her, that was like 30 years ago and technology's a lot better now.

Anyway, brace yourself. Here's a gruesome pic of what the back of her neck looks like right now:

She's in a lot of pain, even with the pain killers but it's gotten a little better. So fingers crossed this is all done. I imagine the big horror will come when we get the medical bill.


Still writing that book. Around 22,000 pages WORDs(DO NOT LET YOUR FRIENDS GET HIGH AND BLOG) now. I like certain parts of it a lot, other parts not so much. It's probably meandering a bit too much, but it's a first draft so I'm not going to sweat it too much. Just get it all out, and then start re-working when it's done.

Also gone back to adapting that book of my buddy's into screenplay format. I'd lost track of it, and gotten a little frustrated by the fact that it's going to run very long. I thought I was cutting enough out to make it around 110 pages, but it looks like it's gonna get to around 140.

Then I want to go do a totally new version of it with some changes, and see what my buddy thinks.

Mulling over whether I can make that $2K movie. Without getting arrested. (if we shoot at that asylum, there's a huge risk--I'm trying to figure out how few days we could shoot there, and if there are other places similar that I could use for some interiors)

While also figuring out what the exact setup of the story is. Still don't have that yet. Some of the stuff that my buddy had suggested was good, but on further reflection, probably wouldn't work for what I'm trying to do.


Super Bowl is tomorrow. I'm trying to care. Failing. I'm not sure I've ever been THIS disinterested in a Super Bowl before.

Is it because I'm sick of seeing the Pats in every bowl? Probably. Is it because I also don't think the Rams have a chance in hell of winning? Probably. If Drew Brees and the Saints were playing, I'd be interested in that game.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Getting Real.

Hey, so let's do some fun stuff before I drop the bomb, right?

First, have you seen how Amazon's destroying the indies? Check my latest film blog here for that:

So hey, even more bleak times for us. Awesome!

I went out tonight with the Malfi after a couple months of non-going out. We talked, drank, then I got pulled over on the way to my parents' house to sober up. Good news--they gave me a warning about running a bullshit stop sign(that they've put at an intersection that didn't have a stop sign for 40 years--they've made it a four-way, and I may just burn down the entire development that demanded there be a four-way stop because they're fucking ASSHATS)

Then I apparently dropped my wallet when I got out of my car at my parents. Hours later after I went home, I couldn't find it. Called my brother(who's watching my parents' house while they're away) to see if he could find it. He found it in the drive way. Good times.

Anyway, gave Malfi the notes on the things I was considering doing next, if I did any movie. He had some good thoughts. I hate the fact that he's written nearly 30,000 words on his new novel in roughly a week. Fucker. I've been working on my novel and done about 10,000 words in a month.


So here's the bad. About a year ago my wife had a small purple mark on the back of her head.

I thought that was strange. I asked her if it was a birth mark that I never noticed. She said no, didn't know what it was. It got bigger.

I told her to go see a doctor. Eventually she did, after the mark got bigger and darker. This fucking dipshit doctor looked and claimed it was an "infection", and gave her an antibiotic. Weird thing is, it got better a little, then got WAY worse.

She went to another doctor. This doctor had them take a biopsy. It's skin cancer. The big C. And we didn't catch it early, thanks in no small part to this dipshit doctor.

This was around December 12th that we got the news. The depth of the cancer was over 4mm, which wasn't great. Under 1mm and you're looking okay. Over that and things get dicey.

We saw an oncologist. Earliest he could get us in with him and the plastic surgeon(they have to cut it out, and the area is large so they need to cut part of her thigh and put that skin on the back of her head) was January 25th.

That's a lot of time. Meanwhile, my wife is emotionally collapsing. Not going to work much. I find her crying in a room by herself sometimes. She didn't tell any of the family(and nor could I) until after the holidays. She didn't want to ruin anyone's holiday stuff.

We finally told people last week. This week is the surgery where we find out if it's spread past her lymph nodes. If so...bad times.

So basically 2019 is continuing the raping of 2018 and 2017. Shit continues to go downhill at every turn. It's hard to see a bright side any more.

Not sure what's going to happen. Dunno what else to say.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

My Favorite Songs of 2019

Man, the moviemaking memes have been spot on lately.

Anyway, this list isn't really in any sort of order. These are my favorite songs that I listened to the most in 2019.

This is for sure #1--this is by a guy named Ollie Wride. He's the main singer for one of the best, if not THE best, synth groups out there right now, FM84. If he sounds familiar, you probably recognize his voice from "Running in the Night" on FM84. Great song.

This is from what appears to be a solo album coming out, and nobody's doing 80's synth revival better than this guy:

This is another favorite from that same album. As they say, take my fucking money.

This is Jake Shears, lead singer of Sister Scissors. I love their stuff, so have been bummed the group sort of split up. Then I get surprised that Jake has a new solo album, and it's really good. This is probably my favorite track.

BUT...this is neck and neck. Got that funky Sisters beat I love.

This was a joke song for one of those bad lip sync segments for Stranger Things, and it turns out the song is hugely addictive. Has a sort of funky Prince vibe to the music.

This was a fun summertime song. Catchy as shit.

This is an oddly catchy song, like something a more pop Trent Reznor would come up with.

This next one is crazy...this guy has been making music for DECADES. Like, since at least the 80's(I remember his big big hit "Cars"), and here he is still killing it. I feel like Bellware will like this video--has a very post-apocalyptic vibe to it.

This next one has got to have one of the catchiest choruses that I've ever heard. Whole thing starts off slow and then bam...that bass...then they add to the chorus on the second simple, but so great...

Okay, I heard this one on the Island show me and the missus love during the summer. As soon as I heard it, the hook got stuck in my head. I went to look for it. I'm not sure how this is not a huge, all of the youtube videos of it have under 10,000 views...?

Also this one, same thing--this has under 20K views? Huh?

Damn, I think I'm getting too high to post the rest of these. So this is a good start.

Honorary mention:
Like the 80's and metal music? Go watch this video, and afterward check out their others. But as much as you're going to swear this is an actual 80's video made by an 80's band, keep in mind that they're Swedish and were formed in 2002.