Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year

You ever go out driving on New Year's Eve and get the feeling like maybe you're gonna get taken out by a drunk driver? I always wonder that. I made an emergency run for a Slurpee tonight, and saw two drunk drivers(one ran a red light)--and I live less than 2 miles away from the 7-11.

And a note: Did any of you see the New Year's Eve television show tonight(maybe Fox?) where the chick was asking people in the crowd what their resolutions would be? And this FUGLY chick says, "No more hooking up with ugly guys."

I was speechless. This girl was SERIOUSLY ugly. Someone needs to hit her with the pot or the kettle so maybe it'll shake her self-awareness loose.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Some girls have all the luck...

I buy a couple of scratchoffs for my wife every year as a stocking stuffer. Coincidentally, this year's was actually called "Stocking Stuffer"--they were $2 apiece and I bought five.

The way you win is, you scratch the 3 numbers at the top. Then you have 15 chances to win--you scratch 15 places, and if your number is under any of them, you win the cash amount below that number.

So my wife scratches the first "line" and she has an 8, 14, 19. Those are her numbers.

She scratches the first place--it's an 8! And under it is $50. She says, "I won $50!" I look over and think she's full of shit. She's not.

She scratches the other spaces on that line and that line reads 8,14,19. Yeah, her exact number. And the amounts under them are $50, $50, $10.

She's won $110 from the first line alone. And I'm thinking, "Did I accidentally buy a joke ticket? Is there a misprint problem?"

She scratches off the rest of the card, and I'm not kidding: Every number is one of her numbers. Every number on the ticket. For varying amounts, she's won a total of $380.

But wait...there's one more bonus scratch space. Scratch that off--if you get a snowflake, you win $20 instantly.

Yep--there was a snowflake under it. Merry freakin' Christmas--she won $400 on one scratch off.

So my New Year's resolution is to scratch off her tickets before I give them to her, and then only give her ones that are winners under $10. :)

How I Know I'm A Filmmaker

So I'm driving home from a private showing of AVP2. (quick summary: It's okay. Better than the first AVP, with some cool stuff, but not super great)

It's like 3:15am and I'm thinking: "Jesus, look how empty these roads are. This would be great footage for, like, an end of the world kind of flick."

My sane self is going: "Dude, it's 3:15am Christmas morning. No way are you going to go home, get your camera and tripod, and go out in the cold to videotape empty roads."

Fifteen minutes later I'm cruising the roads with my camera and tripod. I get out above 695--this is a 6-8 lane highway that ALWAYS has cars on it. It's the biggest road in the state--you can see for long lengths, and I mean---it is just empty.

I shoot some video. It's very cold. On occasion a car drives by, but I get some cool shots. Some pans and zooms, so you know I didn't just shoot a frame and still-frame the second there were no cars.

I drive around some more. I shoot some more stuff. The occasional car that drives by slows to look at me, and I keep waiting for the cop I know is going to show up to ask me what I'm doing. Not one shows up(though I do see some at the 7-11s I pass).

The biggest problem is finding roads lit well enough to show there's no cars on them. I get some decent stuff.

I'm back in my house by 5am. How many people are insane enough to do that? Especially when I don't even have a script in mind for the footage I'm shooting?

Sunday, December 23, 2007


Day 2 without my Xbox 360. Not sure how much longer I can hold out. Am hallucinating. Not thinking clearly. Starting to believe Bush is a good president, perhaps Fox News is fair and balanced...

If somebody finds this, tell my family I love them.

I'll hold on as long as possible. So weak. So...bored...

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Xmas Party

For the third time this year I got dressed up nicely tonight and went to my wife's company Christmas party. She works for Costco, so the parties are typically pretty big--around 100 people. Lot of drinking and dancing.

I don't go that often though. The DJ's have been absolutely horrendous every year I go.

This year it's even closer to my house than usual, barely two miles away. Sweet. I'm not feeling good, so I won't be drinking much, but it's nice that we don't have to drive too far.

We get there about a half hour after it starts...and there's like 20 people there. It's weird.

We sit down at a table with some of my wife's friends, grab a drink. Eat a salad. Everybody comments that it's so strange that nobody's showed up yet.

The one constant is that the DJ is THE WORST. I'm not kidding--most of the people at this party are over 30, many of them over 40. And the DJ is playing Alvin 7 The Chipmunks Christmas tunes, followed by some horrible country stuff.

Then he'll pop into songs that I wish I knew what they were--you would laugh your ass off. We couldn't believe this guy was getting paid to play this horrible stuff.

We ate dinner--he kept playing garbage. A few more people showed up, but the most that were ever there was 31. (I counted)

Only good news was that they did door prizes like they do every year--and since there was only 31 people there, we actually won for once! A forty-dollar gift certificate to Romano's. I've never eaten there.

I was kind of hoping to win an Xbox 360 since my just blew itself up. I was going to blog about it but it's depressing.

Anyway, DJ in total played two decent songs. We left around midnight. I told the people at the table--"Hey, see you in another five years."

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Yeah, I Knew It

It's funny to see a test with this few questions gives me about the same result as I get on those long 100 question ones...

IQ Test Score

Give it a shot.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Democracy: It's a Good Thing, Right?


See, let's examine it real quickly. You've got 10 people in a room, with 8 of them being retarded and 2 of them being normal.

You ask them "Would you like to jump off a bridge?"

The 2 normal people say No, 1 retard says "I dunno" and the other 7 say Yes.

It's a democracy, so everyone has to jump off the bridge.

I feel, more and more, like I'm living in a country of retards. No offense to you guys--I'm sure you're all bright people if you're reading this blog :) --but the population isn't growing smarter, it's just growing.

And since everybody's vote is equal in value, the smart ones of us are getting overwhelmed by the 'tards.

I don't have any answer for it other than for me to take over the country, but I'll work on it. I may have to start my own country.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Peanut Butter Cookies Get No Respect

Came home from the movies tonight. My wife had made cookies.

Chocolate chip, check. Oatmeal, check(and ewwww). Couple others hard to identify.

I ask, "Hey, got any peanut butter cookies?" She tells me no.

See, it's like that everywhere. At the 7-11 they have little bags of cookies all the time. Every kind...but peanut butter.

WTF is it with that? They're the best kind, and nobody makes them?

What a gyp.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I've been what?

Oh, for Christ's sake--a tagging. I rarely do these, and barely noticed it at first. So enjoy.

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1: I wet my bed until I was 17 years old. One time I did it at a sleepover, woke up in pee, and being the sly schemer, took a glass of water and acted like I accidentally dumped it on myself trying to drink from it.

2: I have been to court for traffic offenses eight times, and not once has the state given me a Guilty verdict. (Seven Not Guilty's and one PBJ(Probation Before Judgement))

3: I completed math courses through Calculus 3, and have not once used a single principle in my life. (I even took Calculus 1 twice, receiving a D both times--they said I couldn't take it again, so they pushed me to Calc 2, where I got a C and then I got a B in Calculus 3)

4: I have only been out of the continental US once--to the Bahamas for my honeymoon about seven years ago. I'd really like to go again.

5: I'm a little insane; okay, I was about to explain why, and had even typed it, but I think it's best for all of us if I just don't tell you. You're probably paranoid enough about me already.

6: I do not believe in UFOs or ghosts or any kind of supernatural stuff. Never have, never will. Jesus also falls under this category.

7: I'm extremely nostalgiac.

8: I cannot sleep in silence. A fan whirring or a soft radio or something needs to be making a noise, or my brain will not shut off. (ok, most of the time it won't shut off anyway)

Who am I supposed to tag? Everybody here's been tagged, so whatever!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Party Nights AKA Mapquest Sucks

Ok, got all dolled up for the party.

Mapquest had two directions wrong. Once we got closer we saw spotlights in the distance, and my wife joked "Hey, that's probably for the party."

Turns out, it was.

This guy is loaded. Lives in a giant mansion on the water in Annapolis. We walk up and he has security guards dressed like James Bond thugs, with fake rifles on their backs. A giant neon sign at the entrance says "CASINO ROYALE".

Inside all of the furniture has been removed. Roulette tables, crap tables, other gambling things have been set up. A giant frosted glass screen covers the back wall of the room, and scantily-clad chicks dance behind it, giving that James Bond opening-sequence feel.

Other scantily clad chicks walk around in form-fitting scuba-outfits, ala Halle Berry when she comes out of the water. There are giant ice sculptures of the bond logo gun with 007 carved out.

An open bar on the left, a buffet of food on the right. The liquor is top shelf.

Downstairs is another open bar, more food. Out the back door is a giant tent covering the inground pool, and there's a live band playing out there in front of the third open bar.

I mean--this party clearly cost more than FOC1 and 2 put together. I met Frank(who got me the invite) at the front door, and the party turned into a mini-FOC2 premiere reunion.

Johnny "Paisan" was there. Joe, one of the 2nd unit cameramen from FOC2, was there. A couple of other local actors who had been at the premiere.

I drank a little, my wife drank a lot. Frank tried to introduce me to The Guy a couple of times, but The Guy was always tied up with 10 people around him. Everybody wanted to talk to him.

So I talked to a lot of other people. It was funny how many of them would light up when FOC was mentioned. It seemed they had all heard of me or the film. It was a little weird.

I had planned on leaving around 11pm to make the other party, but we didn't end up leaving until 1am. On the way out I stopped The Guy and introduced myself. He knew who I was--at first I thought he was BS'ing until he said, "Man you've lost a lot of weight". He said he watched the extras of all the movies, so he'd seen me in that.

He was pretty drunk, so I don't know if he'll even remember me, but we'll see. Seemed like a pretty likable guy.

We still went to the other party, which was still going. Much lower key, so it was nice to change out of the monkey suit. All in all, a fun night.

(And I would have taken some pics at the party, but my wife put her camera in the coat check. )

Monday, December 10, 2007


Ever notice how things come in bunches?

Like, most of the time I have a bunch of nothing to do. Nothing going on, nowhere to go, no incentive to live. Little tongue-in-cheek, but there it is.

Not this week.

On Friday I have not one, but two, parties to attend. The first is being thrown by what can only be called a Big Fish. He's executive produced two pretty big movies(especially since he lives in Annapolis) in the past two years. One was an After Dark horrorfest movie from year one and the other was a movie featuring Marisa Tomei.

Word has it that he actually paid for the entire budget for the AD movie out of his pocket(it was about 2 mil).

He's looking to get more involved in local film--he wants to write and direct some films on his own. The catch is that he knows nothing about writing or directing.

Gee--if only there was someone in this area who did...

So I'm going to go, see if I can help him out with his project, and then maybe talk him into exec producing one of my flicks for what would be chump-change to him.

The party he's throwing is at his mansion. It's James Bond themed, so everybody's dressing nice--tuxedo--and he's got craps tables and roulette and stuff. Should be fun.

Then afterward a buddy is throwing about the opposite of this party. I believe it will be a lot of slackers, a lot of marijuana smoke, a lot of drunken fun. And I'll be showing up in my tux. Should be weird.

Anyway, I just added the Big Fish's movie to my Netflix list so I can watch it before the party. I haven't seen it, so I figure I should be prepared in case he asks. I just hope it doesn't suck, because then I'll have to act like I haven't seen it rather than tell him it's a piece of junk.

Saturday, December 08, 2007


So the limited FOC2 is gonna happen. Had too many people asking and I've got too much money invested in it--remind me not to be the sole executive producer next time.

Also funny--just heard about a company that turns movies HD--they're the company doing it to all of the old films that were never shot in HD. I hear they do very nice work. Wonder how much it would cost for FOC2 to go HD...

Prepping for the Christmas watch. I've pulled The Ref(which I try to watch every Xmas but it doesn't always happen). Also have Black Christmas coming from Netflix--I hear it's garbage, but I had to wait til the season to watch it. Also am going to watch the remake of Assault on Precinct 13--I liked it when I saw it a long time ago.

Meanwhile--just watched The Invisible(blah) and About A Boy(Not as funny as I remember).