Sunday, April 27, 2008

Disturbed

I've been going through old files looking for something, and in the process ran across a lot of old writings of mine. Short story bits, little things I'd jot down.

And did I tell you how crazy I was? I mean, you read four or five of these in a row and if you were law enforcement you'd have me arrested. Did I mention I had a lot of anger issues back then?

So here's one. Stop now if you're of delicate sensibilities. You've been warned. I wrote this in 1995. Not a complete story, just something in my head. The funny thing is that I actually recited this into camera at one point, in character, and it was fairly disturbing. I wish I could find that...that would be something...

---

They think I'm a bag-boy. They think I'm just this normal high-school kid who works at the supermarket to earn spending money for his girlfriend.

If they only knew. If their prying hands could only reach inside my skull and see my rotting brain...well.

They watch me stuff their shit--their petty, stupid, normal shit--into "Paper or Plastic?" bags and give me their arrogant little I-remember-when-I-was-just-a-peasant looks.

I smile back. But in my mind I hack them apart into little pieces.

And then when I have to help the pathetic geriatric husks of long-past memories carry their bags of mothballs and geritol and Preparation H out to their cars. They give me these looks of kindness and give me money.

I'd like to stuff my dick in every one of them. In their eyes, their ears, their ass. I don't care.

Sometimes it makes me very angry. I go back in the meat section and help Carl the butcher cut the animal flesh apart. It calms me down when I picture myself wacking off into the ground beef. I think about all those assholes eating my cum and I just can't help but smile.

I'm going to make some of them pay. I feel something in me tearing loose--coming apart--and I think it's my self-control. There's some sort of...animal inside me and it's not very nice.

I've taken the classes. I've studied the material. It's my Id, that thing that tells most people that you can't do things that you want to do. But you see, mine is disintegrating, like dirt on a kid when he gets in the shower. Pretty soon, that thing underneath the dirt is going to get out.

And then we'll have some fun.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Cool new group

Heard these guys first on a podcast. You can download this song for free, and yeah, it would fit into any number of 80's romance movies. Sounds like it, right? After you download it, go check their myspace page and listen to "Sex City".

Check them out--the Aussie band, "Van She".

RIGHT CLICK, SAVE THIS

Myspace Page

Monday, April 21, 2008

Prepping The New Flick

So anyway, while we've been waiting to hear what the distribution sitch is on FOC2, I have been writing like a madman. I had intentions to do WC next, but I'm just not willing to compromise it and do it for the cheap.

But there was this other script I'll call BH that was built to be done cheaply. It deals with a lot of the same themes from WC, and I'd actually started writing it at the same time as WC. I considered it a companion piece to WC.

Anyway, response to it has been pretty good from the peanut gallery. So now I'm in this uneasy zone you always get in when you're readying a flick. It's this time period where you're wondering "Is it really going to happen?"

This period happens on every movie now, because when I first tried to get a movie off the ground way back when(with my then-buddy RG), we had two false starts before we shot HH. I mean, we went all the way through the casting process on both of those flicks and they never happened.

But since then I've been 100%, and completed three films. So you might think this feeling of uncertainty would be a thing of the past...but it's not.

Anyway, I'm meeting a money guy(read: producer) this week. We're not looking for a lot of money on this one--the difficulty is going to be in getting locations.

I need to do some things on the streets of Baltimore that I think the police will frown on, since we're not going to be getting permits. (not that they cost a lot of money, but the insurance that's required does, and the off-duty police we'd have to pay also adds up)

So if I slack off here a little, it's because of that. I'm working on the shooting script and scheduling right now...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Been Slow...

So haven't had a lot to blog about.

The dog has been confirmed as having diabetes(cost of diagnosis: $500) and will need shots every day(month supply of insulin: $75) for the rest of her life.

Super.

In other news, this really cracked me up. Yes, I can be very immature, but I do believe her name rhymes with truck.



Recently watched: "The Man Who Could Work Miracles", from 1937, and is actually very good. Also "In The Valley of Elah", which I also thought was pretty good.

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Kid's Band

I was thinking about how my autistic kid loves music. He plays guitars, he plays drums, he plays keyboards. None of them well, yet. But I still think about the day he's a rock star.

You know, the day he can bring home some hot groupies to share with his good ole' dad.

So I was thinking, what would this band be called? And for some reason I thought: AUTASM

I don't know whether it's horribly bad or oh so good. It's like autism meets Phantasm, or autism meets orgasm. Your choice.

Whattaya think? Should I trademark it now? :)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Bummer

So I'm rushing to get out the door this morning. I brush my teeth, wash my hands, reach across the toilet for the towel to dry my hands--

--my cel phone catches the sink and drops right in the toilet.

To my credit I went right for it. It helped that the toilet wasn't used. As I pulled it out the phone shut itself off. I thought, "Uh oh."

I dried it off as best I could. Let it sit for an hour. Then turned it on. It came on(to my surprise), but made no noise and couldn't get a signal.

So I turned it off and let it sit for another hour. Seems to be working fine now. Hard to believe...('cause it went underwater completely if only for a second)

I'm just glad it wasn't at a public restroom...

Friday, April 04, 2008

Good news, bad news

The good news is, the dog is not pregnant. The bad news is that she appears to be type 2 diabetic. We'll be getting it confirmed next week.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The Weight Loss Saga Continues...

So anyway. As a refresher, here's what happened:

I got fat while I was editing FOC2. Even fatter than normal. I hit 230 at one point. I started a diet based on around some miracle shake, losing 22 pounds in the first month with zero exercise.

I scaled it back a notch, and my lowest weight was 187(achieved about 4 months after I first started). Technically I had lost 40 pounds on the diet(the morning I started the diet I weighed 227).

Fast forward to now...I haven't been keeping with the diet. I still drink a shake when I get up, and I watch what I eat a little, but I don't restrain myself much. I now weigh 197.

My original goal, way back when, was to get to 180. So I'm about to start the shake thing again and see if I can't get to 180. I mean, it's only 17 pounds away, which is a hell of a lot less than the 40 I lost.

This way I'll be in top shape for summer.

Today I started the shakes and I gotta tell you--I don't know what's in them, but they FLUSH your system like you wouldn't believe. I've had to drop the kids at the pool four times today, and that's CRAZY...

Anyway, I really wish I had taken one of those BEFORE pictures when I started the diet, but I didn't really think it was gonna work. You know, another failed diet.

However, I DO have some video from the Making Of, so when I get to 180 maybe I'll post a comparison.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Eighties

Somewhere out there in the ethos I like to think there's a version of me stuck in the eighties.

That version of me is hanging out with my brother Paul--when we're not out swimming in our pool, we're inside watching The Pirate Movie, Clash of the Titans, Fright Night, Night of the Comet, Escape From New York, V, Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back.

Sometimes we're playing videogames on our Atari 800XL. Sometimes we go down my best friend Brooks' house and play on his Commodore 64, and argue about whose computer is better.

We go out to the movies sometimes. Superman 2 is playing. Sometimes Conan or Beastmaster is playing. Our buddies Dave or Wex or Brooks go with us on occasion.

Once in a blue moon our parents take us to the last drive-in remaining in the area. This is the early eighties now. My mom will fix popcorn and put it in a brown grocery bag where the buttery oil will cause stains to appear on the outside of the bag.

They'll let us get on top of the car with pillows and blankets and we'll watch Sinbad movies.

We take vacations in Florida where we go to see our grandparents on my dad's side. We look for fresh watermelons on the sides of the train tracks that run behind their house. We walk to the McDonald's to get lunch and get out of the heat, and I'll make frequent trips to the used-book store to get comics and books.

That version of me doesn't know what I know now. That version of me isn't disillusioned yet. Hell, he doesn't even truly know what sex is because he hasn't experienced it yet.

But when I think about it I'm not sure that version of me ever existed. When I think back on it briefly it seems such a magical time.

If I dwell on it, though, I remember the alienation. The loneliness of my youth. The feeling that I didn't fit in with anybody, that I wasn't like everyone else. The time spent destroying and burning things. The time spent wishing hurt on others.

So I don't dwell on it. The eighties are long gone now...